God is Good - All the Time

God is good – All the time.

If you are around Joey’s mom’s family for any length of time you will surely hear this phrase once or twice.

I always like the sentiment behind it. It serves as a reminder that he is being good to you even when things aren’t going well. He may not answer your prayers immediately and that is a might tough pill to swallow when we live in a society that expects instant gratification.

It’s been a trying few months for us.

Joey has been unemployed since Thanksgiving.

Our mortgage is two months behind.

Joey is two months behind on child support.

Don’t even ask about my credit card bills. (We needed groceries!)

My dad had a follow up ultrasound for his carotid artery. If you’ve been following me for awhile you know he had surgery last November to clean out his carotid following a series of strokes in March 2010. The ultrasound showed he was back to a 60% blockage after only a year.

Jellybean rolled off the bed and onto the dog bed on Sunday night. I was so tired I had no recollection of getting him out of his crib and into our bed. Then he was super fussy and acting off on Monday.

My house is a bonafide disaster when it comes to being clean and organized.

Unemployment makes my husband a Grade A Jerkface to the point I went to my parents for the weekend to get away from him.

So how can I say God is good – all the time after laying all that out on the line?

Joey started a new job today. Yes, the commute is an hour and a half each way. But its steady work for a good rate and after an hour there the general contractor is already talking about hiring him on after six months from the trade pool he is contracted through. Also – jerkface became Mr. Cheerful yesterday once he knew that he had employment again. I’m talking about a quick fire transformation. My house was cleaned top to bottom. Someone kept telling me how much he loved me. Seriously – who is this guy? He spent an hour playing on the back porch with Jellybean then gave him a bath and ran out to get his prescription. Oh and he washed dishes! This is insane! We will have steady income coming in. It won’t happen overnight but we will get caught up on our bills.

Our mortgage should get caught up in the next few weeks since I have a profit sharing check coming in.

My sister spoke to a vascular surgeon who let her know that many patients develop scar tissue after the surgery which is not the same as blockage. It will be inflamed for awhile and then go back down. In all his 30 years of practice he has only had to do repeat surgery 4 times. Also 60% blockage does not warrant surgery if it does end up being that. It is treated through medication. There are no guarantees that my Dad won’t be an exception to the rule but hope is a wonderful thing. We will know more after his appointment next Monday. The hope alone though did pull my Dad out of the depression he had been in since the ultrasound!

Jellybean was not out of it from his fall. He had another ear infection – that’s why he was out of it. Napping all afternoon followed by a doctor visit and playing with Daddy did the trick for him. He slept until 2am in his crib, nursed and went back to sleep until 730 this morning. He didn’t even get his antibiotics until this morning because he fell asleep while Joey was picking them up. Like this. 

I may have also sent him to daycare today in his jammies. He looked comfortable and everyone needs a jammy day when they don’t feel good – right?

Tonight’s dinner is already cooked. We just have to warm it up. Tomorrow we’ll eat dinner at church. We have a plan for crock pot meals during the week and cleaning on the weekends. We’re going to try to work together rather than fight each other on what needs to get done at home.

So yes – God is Good – All the time.

Doing it Right

I have always been a bit of a Type A personality.

I know you are shocked. You never saw that one coming. (despite the million and one posts about how anal retentive I am with my color coded calendars and the hives I break out in when someone else puts my dishes away!)

So when it came to my adult life. I always had a plan in mind.

My life was always going to be get married, buy a house, have a baby. And of course with that came have a good job, make sure I can afford the baby, have health insurance, etc.

So that is exactly what I did.

Because I feel like I owe it to society as a whole to be responsible about my life choices. The last thing we need is to take on something we can’t handle and expect all of you to pay for it. So I didn’t.

That would be why I was shocked and appalled when someone I know (calling this person a friend would be a stretch) asked when we would be having #2!

They had a baby a few months before us.

While living with his family.

On Medicaid.

Only one partner working – so they can qualify for aid.

Getting married in the future (did I mention they can’t support themselves yet?)

And plan on trying for another in the next year.

OMG – I was speechless. But I shouldn’t have been. I should have seen it coming. They have made comments before. I mentioned something about the price of daycare being why we couldn’t go out. Because they leave the baby with their free live in babysitters and go out a lot. Flit around here there and everywhere. I firmly believe that once you have a child the going out and doing things on your own needs to be limited anyhow, I mean you chose to have a child so they are after all your responsibility. My response though was I would love to stay home but we have all those very adult responsibilities to take care of that won’t allow it.

A mortgage – which quite honestly gets paid late sometimes. Thank goodness for the 15 day grace period!

Homeowners Insurance. Car payments and insurance. Health insurance for all three of us. Pets. Credit cards. Student loans. Electricity. Cell phone. Groceries.

Shoot, I cut out cable tv to save money.

If I didn’t have a mortgage to pay, we might be able to swing me staying home. But we wouldn’t have health insurance. And that isn’t a risk I am willing to take. Then again if they had to pay rent and all those other bills – they wouldn’t have the luxury to stay home either. Joey’s company is finishing up all the jobs they have right now and he isn’t 100% sure there are more jobs behind it. He is actively searching for other employment options just in case because that is a very scary possibility for us.

I cut corners in every way I can. I cloth diaper. I make Jellybean’s baby food now that he has started solids. I breastfeed and plan on continuing until he is at least a year old.

Still there seems to be more going out then coming in most months.

So do we want more kids?

Without a doubt, yes.

But they too come with a plan. This year we should make a significant dent in our debt. Then once Jellybean is a year old, we can start trying again. Because when he is two, he can move to the toddler room for daycare and it is a little cheaper there. So we can look at how to stretch that budget a little more.

Maybe Jujube will be so cute that they will watch her for free? (Shh..quit snickering!)

But rest assured dear friends – we are only going to take on what we can manage on our own. Because it’s not your responsibility to pay for the kids I want to have.

And don’t worry – you won’t catch me at the bar anytime soon either.

Although – I am known to get pretty drunk on inhaling sweet Jellybean’s baby smell after a bath.

This post is linked up with Shell as part of Pour Your Heart Out Wednesdays.

 

Cutting it off

I thought of a million and one blog posts over the weekend.

Then Jellybean finally rolled over Sunday night and my brain turned to mush. It was as if he had won an Olympic Gold Medal or the lottery. We clapped, we cheered. I may have cried a little. And all possibility of me writing a grown up coherent post vanished.

Because I was busy cooing and going – Mommy is so proud of you! Yes, she is! (Tickle, Tickle, Kiss, Kiss) You are such a  big boy! I knew you could do it! Yes, I did! (More clapping!)

Luckily after a full nights sleep  my brain regenerated a few precious cells and I was able to remember what this post was going to be about. You know other than Jellybean like all my posts from the last millennium or so.

So did you see this tweet I put out last week.

Yea, I was PISSED. I’ve made it pretty obvious on a few occasions that my hubby lacks money management skills. By lacks money management skills I actually mean he doesn’t have any. AT ALL. The only successful method we have had is him giving me all of his money. Doesn’t do much for his ego but it works for getting the bills paid.

So, after he royally f$%@#*  messed up again with managing his money, along with getting a red light ticket AND his truck breaking down BEFORE I got my first check from going back to work, I had to make some tough money decisions in our home. One of those times where I had to look at our expenses and see what could go – separate the luxuries from the necessities. The first thing that stood out to me was our cable TV. I was paying for HD digital Cable and a DVR. I never had time to watch TV since going back to work. Seriously – I hadn’t watched TV once. Hadn’t gotten online either but I need the internet connection for when Jellybean is sick and I have to work from home. Joey on the other hand – he would come home and just zone out in front of the TV for hours. All the chores stacking up around the house would go unnoticed as he stared endlessly into the idiot box. For $19.95 a month I could keep the internet and ditch the TV. That was all I needed to hear!

Last Wednesday, I had them cut us off.

The first night – all the plants in the yard were replanted. The trees were trimmed and our flower bed no longer looked like an overgrown mess.

The second night – he went and did a side job for his aunt.

Saturday we woke up early and took Jellybean into downtown with us. We went by the bank and then had breakfast down there and strolled around for a bit. There was no pressing need to get home and “relax” in front of the TV. We were too busy relaxing with each other. Jellybean was having a Daddy weekend anyhow – he only wanted me if he was hungry. It was actually really sweet to see Daddy and Jellybean bonding with each other. When we got home Daddy and Jellybean decided to spend some quality time together  -

While I cleaned up the house. I got down and dirty vacuuming couch cushions, filing all the paperwork that had stacked up and sweeping up. Right as I finished sweeping I shattered a glass all over the tile floor – true story…Sigh…

We spent the afternoon just playing with Jellybean. The purest, most enjoyable fun we have ever had in our lives. Who knew singing along with Elmo could be that much fun?

It took until Saturday night for Joey to pull the DVD player out and watch a movie.

He watched Wall-E.

Alone.

Yes – I think he has embraced being a Daddy.

On Sunday we all woke up around 8am. We played some more and then Daddy broke out the infant carrier so he could take Jellybean for a walk. They sat and watched the cars go by for a bit and Jellybean fell asleep…until he walked in the front door. We decided to tackle Wal-mart while he was awake since our fridge looked like a starving college students. That’s what happens while you wait for your first back to work paycheck. My parents showed up while we were gone and my mom cleaned my entire house for me and did the laundry while we were there. Jellybean fell asleep on Daddy while we were at Wal-mart so they just wandered together while Daddy snuggled him. While there I picked up the cable to attach the laptop to the TV.

Its now certain – we are never getting cable again. Between Hulu, Crackle and Youtube – we don’t need it. Joey watched Pawn Stars and a few movies while I even found some Baby Einstein clips that Jellybean listened to and glanced at a few times.

I think the best part of this change though has been how much closer it made us. You don’t realize how much technology takes away from you as a family until you do without it. If I need to choose between all three of us being on the floor rolling around together or staring mindlessly at a picture on a screen. I think I’ll go for blowing raspberries, giggling and wiping up drool any chance I can get.

Taking away cable meant that Joey and I were both sitting there and watching when Jellybean rolled over for the first time. It means that our entertainment at night will be taking a walk together and bath time rather than a rerun of American Pickers or Orange County Choppers. It means that when my family is over we are all just talking and spending time with each other rather than being in the same house together.

I’ll take that over a TV any day!

I wanted to update, but BACON distracted me.

Don't forget to enter the CSN Stores $35 Giveaway!

So I started to come on here to update everything that has been going on lately but then I got distracted by this article. Yes, an article entirely devoted to bacon. For anyone that knows me IRL - I absolutely love Bacon. Preferably crispy. I blame my mother. She use to make us the most amazing bacon sandwiches growing up. She would sneak off to the corner store and get these long skinny italian loafs of bread that were still warm and then fry up some bacon to go with them. Cut the loaf in half, dip the bread in the grease and just pile bacon on top. A nightmare for our cholesterol but the ultimate in comfort food. My sister and I still love to have these for breakfast!

So now I'm the person who loves bacon as if it was a boy toy. I order it as an appetizer when I go to eat at Cracker Barrel. My surefire way of testing a diner is to order their BLT - if you screw that up I won't eat there again. I just found out a restaurant downtown makes a Fried Green Tomato BLT. I can't wait to try this out. It sounds AMAZING!

Having said that, in preparing for Jellybean's arrival I was forced to suck it up and realize that one of the main places I was overspending was at the grocery store. Joey and I have pretty much been living the "DINK" life until now. We pay child support for his son but that is different then having the day to day expenses of a child in the home. So when we would go to the store we would start with a list but rarely stuck to it strictly. There have been times where it took some creative arranging to fit everything in the fridge, freezer and pantry after a trip to the store. I'm going to venture a guess that we could easily spend $300-$400 a month at the grocery store - with only two people in the house. Knowing that I am soon going to be out an extra $580 a month for just daycare and health insurance alone - that just isn't an option anymore.

So - I am back to meal planning. Taking leftovers for lunch at work. Sticking to my grocery list. Actually waiting to run out of stuff before buying it. Buying less junk food/snacks. I know that at times this is going to be a struggle but its not about the two of us anymore. Its the three of us now. There's going to be soccer, T-ball, clothes, doctors, dentists, birthday parties and a million other expenses along the way. We just can't afford to be wasteful anymore. I am amazed by all of you who are able to survive on one income and still afford everything so feel free to share your advice with me. I'm not to proud to take it. I would love to be able to be a SAHM or WAHM at some point and I need to lay the groundwork now for it.

Now with my meal plan for the week -



You can find out more about Menu Plan Monday at I'm an Organizing Junkie.

Monday - Shrimp Stirfry (I've had a bag of shrimp and half a family size stirfry kit in my freezer for two months now so its time to use it up!)
Tuesday - Kielbasa on the grill, Fried onions, French fries, Salad
Wednesday - Chicken Parmesan, Angel hair Pasta with Italian dressing and Parmesan Cheese (This is awesome cold the next day!), Spinach salad
Thursday - Potato soup (from the freezer stash), Garlic bread (We have our childbirth classes so need a quick meal)
Friday -I'll be at my sister's so Joey is on his own
Saturday - My niece's cheerleading competition
Sunday - We are attending a wedding.

So this week I really only need to buy bread, milk, fruit and veggies. I have everything else. Thank goodness too since I don't get paid until Friday! :)

Finally - I've started thinking about getting meals in the freezer for after Jellybean is born and I am a zombie. Would you like to share your favorite freezer/crockpot recipes with me? (or come cook for me mid January/early February?)

Conversations with Jellybean - Volume 5

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Conversations with "The Jellybean"


Jellybean: Hey Mom! What's wrong?

Me: Mommy is just a little bit tired buddy!

Jellybean: Really Mom? I've been full of energy lately! Especially last night. I dunno why you were sitting for so long but that was fun!



Me: I noticed. I was here trying to pay attention to the childbirth classes but apparently you were doing the Riverdance in there for two hours.


Jellybean: What the heck is the Riverdance, Mom?

Me: This buddy -



Jellybean: Let's get this straight right now Mom. I'm NEVER wearing tights. Kapish?


Me: Got ya. Loud and clear!

I'm 24 weeks pregnant now or six months. I spent 20 minutes this week explaining to a guy at work how I could be six months pregnant yet due 2/3. Finally after the third run through of the whole 40 weeks thing he caught on. Sigh... We also started our childbirth classes last night. I only wanted to permanently injure Joey 4 times between the drive there, the class and the drive home. Labor is going to be a blast!

Total weight gain/loss? I'm not sure - I haven't had a chance to weigh myself. Last week I was up 16+lbs so probably around 17 or 18lbs this week.

Wedding rings - on or off? On. My hands haven't swelled at all yet.


How are you feeling generally? I'm exhausted this week. It's been 14 hour days at work.

Any stretch marks? A few on my boobies.

Weekly BOOO HOOO? See above about work.

Weekly WHOO HOOO? The week has to end at some point?

Have you bought anything for baby this week? Shoot I haven't had time to even think this week, let alone shop!

What does your nursery currently look like? A project under construction! The murals are half finished and I still need to buy the chair rail, ceiling fan, etc.

What are you most afraid of with this pregnancy/birth/baby? The finances and juggling it all.

Are you going to do any maternity photos? If so, When? I'm going to try to do these at the beginning of December.

What carseat/travel system are you leaning towards/going with/have? Graco Pagoda

 

1.   Blogging is something I seriously slacked on this week. I love getting to know all of you though!

2.  A current fashion trend I wish I was brave enough to wear is I'm pregnant. I'm happy when I find anything that looks cute on me right now. My body changes shape every friggen day.

3.  My greatest accomplishment in life thus far is Jellybean growing inside of me of course!

4.  If I had to choose between a mountain or a beach vacation I'd choose the mountains. I live 20 minutes from the beach so something a little different sounds divine!

5.  A talent I wish I had is  teaching the hubby how to manage money! :)

6.  A talent I do have is being able to juggle 8 zillion things at once and make it look easy.

7.  This week one I have no desire to repeat anytime soon!

 

Reality check!

Oh - how I missed you all. Work has been a bear this week and I still have to work Saturday night too. Monday, I put in a 13 hour day. Tuesday - was 14 hours or so. Yesterday - maybe 12. Yeah - I'm exhausted. I'll be catching up on reading and commenting on Sunday. I still have another presentation to write by Monday. Along with various other updates and projects for work.

Joey may have stepped on a minefield this morning after the week I had at work. I know I mentioned last week that I'm used to him running out of money by Thursday. Thursdays also happen to coincide with the start of a new pregnancy week for me so today I am 24 weeks pregnant. That means I have 16 weeks before I have to juggle increased insurance costs, less income thanks to short term disability pay, daycare, etc. So he asked me for gas money...again. Even though I still haven't gotten paid back for all the other times he "borrowed" money until Friday.

I FRICKEN FLIPPED OUT ON HIM.

Yep - told him that I'm not his mother or a bank and that I don't go around asking him for money every week. He has a set amount he gives me every week and the rest is supposed to last him. He doesn't pay for groceries, doctor visits, car repairs, etc. So there is no reason he should run out. Except he spends his money on stupid stuff. Which I don't even get that luxury.

So tonight is going to be a come to Jesus type talk about the reality of money once Jellybean is here. And how I need to prepare for it now by actually putting money in savings. Which I haven't been able to do in ages. Its not going to be pretty but it is a necessary evil. I think he knows its coming after this morning.

Wish me luck.