What's working for us....

If you are here for ICLW - Welcome - my story is here.

As you might remember I whined to all of you last month about the hubby not helping me out enough around the house. It wasn't pretty. I got heated quite a few times about it after that. Then somewhere along the way things fell into place for us. We started to figure out a system that's working - for us.

The first part that probably made a difference is that I am OBVIOUSLY pregnant now. Joey is a visual person and I think when the belly made its grand I'm not going away appearance it triggered something in his head. The bigger part of the equation was changing my way of thinking. I am my mother's child which makes me somewhat of a neat freak. I use to have my clothing organized my style and color in my closet with different hangers for each. Being a neat freak doesn't work when you are pregnant and married with a house full of pets. I let the clutter buildup over the week now. THE WORLD ISN'T GOING TO END just because there are four pairs of shoes hanging out in the living room.

I learned to speak up too. If I come home and I am too tired to cook dinner - I tell Joey. He is usually more than happy to cook dinner instead. Yes the kitchen may be a mess afterward but the dishes are not going to walk off in the middle of the night and stage a strike just because no one washed them immediately. In fact they are always still waiting for me at the end of the next day. I also learned to split up my tasks. One day I might do laundry, another I'll wash dishes or sweep. I can digest small bites of house work.

The biggest part of the equation though was learning to let Joey do it his way too. Take Sunday morning for instance. Jellybean woke me up at 6:30am to let me know we were 10 seconds away from peeing the bed and after that I couldn't fall back asleep. In fact, I was laying in bed thinking of how the second bathroom really needed a good scrub down. So I woke up and started some crazy nesting. In 4 hours time I did as many loads of laundry, swept, mopped, washed dishes, dusted (including the tops of the kitchen cabinets and all the knick knacks) cleaned the bunny cage, organized all of Joey's tattoo desk and scrubbed that entire bathroom down including wiping the walls down with the magic eraser.

Sundays though are usually my day for going and hanging out with my parents so when 10:30 rolled around I knew I needed to wrap it up. Joey was still in bed snoozing away. Sunday is my day for letting him sleep in. He wakes up for work at 4:30 five days a week so he deserves to have a day where he can be lazy. Just because I am up bright and early it doesn't mean he needs to follow suit. So instead of storming in there and starting to bitch at him for still being in bed and look at everything I did already (which I use to do) I leave him a note with the things I didn't get to. So yesterday's list had these chores for him -

-vacuum (including behind the couch since I dusted)
-clean our bathroom
-strip the bed (I couldn't do it with him in it!)
-put away the dishes
-clean his son's room (he let the neighbor's kids come over and play and they left it a hot mess)
- make dinner

So I left him the note, snuck a kiss in and headed over to see my rents. I didn't call and bug him to see what time he woke up or nag to see if he was taking care of my honey do list. A 32 year old man doesn't need me babysitting him. Instead I have learned to trust that he will take care of it because he loves me.

And of course he did what I asked and more.

I think most of the changing had to do with me and not him. He is more open to helping me and being my partner when I started showing him that I trusted him and stopped nagging and harping on him. I realized that he rarely did that to me and that the more respect we show for each other the better we get along. Just because he doesn't do things on my schedule or the way I would doesn't mean its wrong. Just different.

Besides who can argue when your house looks this good from the work you did together?

And yes - he made Fried Green Tomatoes all by himself and they were delicious!

Welcome again - ICLW!

Welcome to everyone here from ICLW! I’m so glad you decided to stop by. Hopefully once you get to know me you’ll still want to stick around! :)

So as of today I am  29 weeks and 3 days pregnant with our Jellybean – a baby boy. The journey to get here though was anything but slam, bam, thank ya ma’am!

I met my future husband in December of 2006. He was my mechanic and I had to break my car..twice.. to get him to ask for my number. All it took though was one date and we have been joined at the hip ever since. No really, his uncle predicted we would be married within a month of our dating. A year and a half later in May of 2008 we were. In July, I decided to go off birth control. My husband already had a daughter and a son from previous relationships but this was to be my first. So I figured it would take me a few months to figure out my cycles and then we would have a BFP. Nice idea in theory.

What I ended up with was two perfect 34 day cycles and then a 30 day cycle, a 43 day cycle. A 52 day cycle which revealed an ovarian cyst. A bunch of visits to the OB/GYN to monitor it. Switching OB’s when my ultrasounds were rescheduled..twice. Then the start of the RE process. After countless tests and a few thousand dollars we came away knowing dh had super sperm and I had long cycles with late ovulation. That’s it. I tried Femara, which was a bust. I had a 43 day cycle and didn’t ovulate until CD 30. MY RE started pushing IUI’s immediately – even though we had only done one medicated cycle. I should have known then that this office was about the big money but I guess my want for baby blinded me. I tried a cycle of Clomid with a trigger shot. For some reason they had me only do 25mg and triggered me way too early. Another BFN. I decided to take a break financially from all the RE craziness.

I did two cycles of soy. Nothing. I went back to my OB who decided to try Clomid again, 50 mg to start. He felt my problem was being underweight. I tried to put on weight. First cycle BFN. Second cycle – my dad ended up in the ICU for 5 days. I took my pills all out of order and I’m not even sure I used OPKs. Not really a time you are in the mood. BFN = of course. We went up to 100mg of Clomid. I made an appointment with a different RE. I had no faith in the 100mg Clomid cycle. Then I had heartburn for the first time ever on our trip to Mississippi to pick up my step son. Weird. By first time ever I mean I actually had to ask my hubby what heartburn feels like! My appointment with the new RE was coming up on that Wednesday, May 26 so on Monday the 24th I decided to pee on a stick. To my shock two lines showed up. I peed on another stick the next morning, then a digital, then a blood test and a few more sticks along the way.

HOLY MOLY – WE WERE PREGNANT!

So now, here we are pregnant AFTER infertility. It is possible! I moan and groan along the way. I pop Zantac’s as if they are Tic Tacs. I am addicted to my heating pad and foot spa. I am now experiencing the joys of third trimester Braxton Hicks and round ligament pain. I pee every 12 minutes or so. And I love every minute of it. I honestly and sincerely hope everyone reading gets to experience motherhood themselves one way or another. Don’t give up – whatever you do!

I will continue to hold out hope that everyone struggling with IF realizes their dreams and finds happiness along the way!

Conversations with Jellybean - Volume 10

Conversations with Jellybean

Jellybean: Hey Mom!

Me: Yes Jellybean?

Jellybean: What the heck is that thing that keeps following me?

  Me: It's like a camera buddy. We're just taking some pictures of you to make sure you're growing like you're supposed to.

Jellybean: Wait? You can see me in here? I'm not even dressed MOM! And you're going to show other people these PICTURES? Mooooom!

Hmm.. What happens when I do this?

Me: Ummm.. We get a picture of your foot!

Jellybean: Oh yeah? Well look at this trick!

Me: When you do that your daddy says you have Frodo Feet!

Jellybean: What's that? 

Me: Well they look like this...

Jellybean: Ha ha. Dad's funny. I don't have hair on my feet!

Me: Looks like he made you smile there. 

Jellybean: Yea, I like him but Mom. I think that's enough pictures for now!

Me: Aww Jellybean - quit hiding that cute little face of yours!

Can you believe we only have 11 weeks to go? 

How far along are you? 29 weeks

Total weight gain/loss? I don't know. I haven't weighed myself lately.

Rings - on or off? On

How are you feeling generally? Okay - exhausted at night but generally ok.

How are you sleeping? Once I get up for my 3am pee I usually can't fall back asleep. Maybe I'll grab another hour in there somewhere.

Any stretch marks? Nope - but the hubby is fascinated by all the other changes in my skin, veins, etc. I felt like a museum exhibit last night as he was examining me!

Weekly BOOO HOOO? Failed my 1 hour Glucose by one darn point! So its a 3 hour glucose test for me now.

Weekly WHOO HOOO? This is kind of a BOO Hoo but a Woo Hoo too. Baby's abdomen measured a little behind at my u/s on Saturday so I will get to go back monthly just to double check now. I'm not concerned since its based on how much fluid is in his abdomen at the time and the position he's in. I don't mind seeing him more often at all!

Are you doing anything fun this weekend? We might go have dinner at Joey's mom's and I am definitely going to go catch up with an old friend of mine since her daughter has a gymnastics meet.

What kind of pacifiers do you use/did you buy/will you use? I'm not sure yet. I'll wait and see if he even wants them I guess. I never liked them.

How many 0-3 month sleepers do you think is a good number to start out with? I have a ton someone gave me already and then a few more people have bought. I probably have about 10 or 12?

And just for kicks, I'm doing 5QF again!

1. What Christmas song do you loathe?

The Christmas Shoes - its just too sad for me I guess.

2. Do you and your significant other cuddle at night or sleep on opposite sides of the bed?

A little of both. We usually go to bed at different times so we don't snuggle then but we snuggle every morning before we get out of bed.

3. Have you ever had surgery?

I've had oral surgery for a tooth implant and to get my wisdom teeth out.

4. When do you typically have your holiday shopping done?

Christmas Eve! I'm a HUGE procrastinator! Sometimes it even stretches until after the holidays!

5. If money were not an issue (and you HAD to pick something), what would your ultimate luxury item be?

 

A house/land big enough for all my family and Joey's family to live on. And that would have to be about the size of a county since I need my space too! Maybe our own island would work? 

Sucking it Up - PYHO

Over the weekend I had a choice to make. I could continue to hold on to a grudge or move on from it. This was not an easy choice for me at all. My hurt in this situation was justified and I had never received an apology for some rather hurtful things that were said.

But this involved the hubby’s family and with Jellybean on the way it was time to either move on or have to suffer through countless years of weirdness and avoidance.

My dad was the catalyst behind this. (Wise man that he is!) When he was in the hospital after his surgery he pretty much laid it on the line for me. He plainly said that I couldn’t deny Jellybean the other side of his family just because my feelings were hurt. Jellybean didn’t have a choice in this and it wasn’t my place to make the choice for him. That just because Mom was upset he automatically was cut off from Dad’s side of the family. My parents unfortunately had to go through an experience similar to this and I knew deep down that he was right. It was still a tough pill for me to swallow though. (I’m known to be a little stubborn at times.) At the same time I couldn’t live with myself knowing I was causing someone else the same pain and distress I had seen my parents suffer through for the past 20 years.

So I hemmed and hawed over this. I already knew I wouldn’t be seeing Joey’s family over Thanksgiving since we are splitting up this year and spending it with our respective families. (Yes, we figured out what we are doing in the future too. That’s another post!) So when Joey mentioned that he was going to go see his Mom on Sunday since he hadn’t seen her in two months I knew it was time for me to bite the bullet. We were going to the corn maze on Saturday and would already be halfway to his mom’s house then. I had to say something. I didn’t want to.

I would be evil if I made him drive all the way out there two days in a row just because I still had my panties in a wad over something that happened in June. Especially since SO MUCH had changed since then.

I sucked it up and said –“ Why don’t we just go to your mom’s after the corn maze since we’ll already be halfway there?”

I think his eyes about popped out of his head when I said that and his jaw actually hit the floor.

Yep, I was actually being mature about it. We went to the corn maze and had a blast there. Joey absolutely loved it and proclaimed it the best date ever. Honestly he talked about it non stop. We had an ultrasound that morning before hand so he was even more excited since we had just seen Jellybean. Finally it was time to head over to his mom’s.

I knew this was important. I grew up with my grandparents living in ANOTHER COUNTRY so I want Jellybean to be close to his family on all sides. I couldn’t let my emotions prevent my son from having what he deserved and its better to get past that now then once he is here. So this was my baby step in that direction.

And you know what?

It went fine. No one mentioned anything from the past. We all let bygones be bygones and moved on. We have a baby to get excited for. This is no longer about us. HE is what is important and HE will flourish if all of us act like adults. If we surround him with love then he doesn’t need to know what differences we might have between ourselves.

And I hate to admit it, but I do feel better now.

Although – I was still tempted to pick up this sign when I was out with hubby last night –

Shell over at Things I Can't Say hosts - Pour Your Heart Out. It is a place to just get whatever is weighing on your heart out. Please be kind to all of the posters.



***Just a side note - I'm trying to cram in reading and commenting on other blogs into my schedule. The third trimester has made me EXHAUSTED so many times once I get home I don't even turn the computer on. You will probably see my commenting on your past blogs like crazy on Saturday and Sunday mornings so don't be offended if you don't hear from me all week otherwise!

PINT - Corn, speeding tickets and the dentist

 

 

 

I'm also linking up with To the Top Tuesday this week. 

You can link up too!

Have you heard?

Last year was my first year doing a photo holiday card. I forced Joey to don a Mickey Christmas hat when we went to Disney for my birthday and convinced a shopkeeper to snap a picture for us. I thought we were pretty darn cute.

 (And I would have uploaded a picture of that card here if only I could remember who I had ordered them from last year.)

I knew I wanted to do photo cards again this year since I could make sure EVERYONE knew that Jellybean was on his way then! I just didn't know who I was going to get them through since you know - we're broke.

Then I was reading one of my favorite blogs Confessions of a Young Married Couple where Katie happened to mention that Shutterfly was running an awesome promotion. If you blog about your Shutterfly Christmas cards, then you get 50 Christmas cards for free! I immediately knew I had to participate in this one!

I'm already a big fan. I have used them for prints from our wedding along with a photo book. I know that I will be using them again after our maternity shoot and Jellybean's newborn photos. I may even put together a little calendar for family and friends since Jellybean is due so early in the year. I’ve also given picture albums to people and those make great little gifts. I'm also considering doing something with the great canvas wall art they have once Jellybean is here. Of course I'll probably have to do the same for the pets so they don't get jealous!

With all that in mind I made sure to get a couple cute pictures with the hubby when we went to the corn maze on Saturday. I'll be playing with them in Photoshop and then I have to pick out our Christmas card. Which will be no easy task since they have so many cute ones to choose from!

There's this one -

I like the fact that there is room for a message on there.
But I could throw some of Jellybean's ultrasound photos on this one-

Then again, I'm a big fan of this one too:

Luckily I don't have to choose right now.

The great thing is that you can get in on this deal too no matter the size of your blog just head over to Shutterfly and register your blog. Now, I'm off to eat the dinner complete with fresh corn the hubby just cooked for me!

Conversations with Jellybean - Volume 9

Conversations with Jellybean

Jellybean: Hey Mom! Why the long face?

 Me: Because your cousins are little boogers!

Jellybean: What happened?

Me: Oh they had some comments on Mommy's baby belly! 

Jellybean: Like what?

Me: Roni - "Whoa! That looks like a basketball!."

Kali - "Whoa! It does!" 

Austyn - "That does NOT look like a girl's belly. It looks like Joey's!" 

Zack - "WHOA!!!!"

Jellybean: They better not be talking about me that way. Man! I'll kick and punch and..

Me: Jellybean! Jellybean! Hey Jellybean!

Jellybean: Huh? What Mom?

Me: That would be me you're kicking and punching - you're in MY belly, remember?

Jellybean: (blushes) Hmm...oh yeah - hey I thought we were going to see my finished room today?

Me: Daddy didn't get to work on it. Mommy had him on dinner duty all week since she has been EXHAUSTED and going to bed at 8pm!

Jellybean: That sucks! I want my room done NOW!

Me: Language kiddo! (I have to put ear muffs on my belly while at work!) You're not due for 12 more weeks - we can finish it next week and you're still good to go!

On to the preggo update - Not too many weeks left of these, then it will be Jellybean updates!

How far along are you? 28 weeks - Hello third trimester!

Total weight gain/loss? Still around +20lbs

Rings - on or off? Still on

How many pairs of Maternity Jeans do you have? 2 pairs that I like but I got some jeggings on Saturday that I love and I think I'm going to pick up more of those!

How are you feeling generally? Exhausted. This week kicked my butt with everything with my dad and the time change.

Any stretch marks? Nope

Weekly BOOO HOOO? Just found out the crib someone gave us was part of the recalls. I never checked at first. Luckily My MIL, huby's aunt and cousin are all going to go in on a crib for us.

Weekly WHOO HOOO? I have an u/s on Saturday!

Have you bought anything for baby this week? No but some of my cloth diapers came in and they are adorable! Hubby did pick up some cute cowboy boots for when he gets older!

Will you have newborn photos done? hospital photos? I'll probably do newborn photos. Not sure about hospital.

What is the one biggest thing you have yet to buy for baby? Probably the dresser or a breast pump. Kind of hoping we get the big stuff at our baby showers.

Do you have a going home outfit yet? What does it look like? Here it is

PS - Good luck to S.I.F. - sending you sticky vibes after your transfer and hoping for a BFP in 2 weeks!