Yes - its been almost a week since I posted last. No I'm not apologizing anymore. It is just part of the new mommy territory. I have a chance to write now as the Jellybean just nursed and is passed out next to me. That is quite an achievement after the past week.
The little guy has been dealing with some major gas issues which has made all of us miserable. We've been doing burping, bicycling, gas drops and everything else imaginable but the thing that he has wanted most is to just be held. Constantly. It was the instant fix for him but made it difficult to get anything done at all. Mercifully he seems to be feeling better today but it was a long and exhausting week.
Joey and I were at each others throats during that time too. Lack of sleep will do that to you. I think I went over the edge when he decided to go fishing Saturday morning. You know after I handled ALL the nighttime feedings all week since he has to get up for work at 5am and then I take care of Jellybean all day long too. I really wanted the chance to sleep in or take a nap. Possibly a bath. I needed an hour to just be Diana - not mommy or wifey. It wasn't pretty at all. In fact it may have resembled this -
Otherwise I am slowly starting to come to terms with the fact that I will indeed have to return to work. It doesn't thrill me but life doesn't always make you happy. We are trying to figure out a way to let me be a SAHM eventually but for now I need to stay the course. I am going to take pride in the fact that I am providing for my family and try to stay positive.
I know that if it is meant to be God will find a way to let me stay home but that it will be on his schedule - not mine. Until then, I'm going to treasure the time we have together at home and feel blessed that I do have as much time as I do. I know there are Mom's out there who don't get 12 weeks with their babe. I'm looking for telecommuting marketing positions in the meantime and hopefully one will pop up that would work for us before I go back.
Finally - my apologies for the lack of direction in this post. Someone has been eating every hour so I sleep an hour at a time. I have a ton of blog posts in my head and may get them written out one of these days.