Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Back and Better Than Ever

Ok - so not quite yet but I am coming back to blogging.

I'm working on a shiny new blog layout that so far I LOVE. In fact it would be done and I would have all sorts of great posts up... if my toddler hadn't decided to give up sleeping for the past two weeks.

Tonight was the first night I got him to go to bed before ten. I took advantage of that to do some long overdue chores. And to rename some of my Pinterest boards with witty names I had thought up - because that is obviously a priority.

Now I'm hoping Jellybean doesn't wake up and sneak off to play in the dining room at 2 am like he did last week. Yeah - that was a moment of sheer terror when I woke up and he wasn't laying next to me.

Bear with me another week as I finish up the blog layout, finish getting my home organized and pencil in time for all of you. I'm revamping the layout, what I write about and pretty much everything about my blog. I've changed since I started this blog and it was time I reflect that. I'll be posting about what's important to me now. Tips and tricks I'm finding helpful as I navigate life now. I hope you guys stick around and enjoy what I have in store. I'm excited and I promise you I will be back and better than ever soon!

And since no blog post is complete without a few pictures of Jellybean...

Monday, August 6, 2012

Guys Make Better Friends

I have spent the better part of the past two months organizing a toddler busy bag swap.


I found a google document everyone could sign up on with links to projects.


I booked a pavilion for the actual swap at a park with a splash pad.


I made two projects myself, rather than just one.


I brought food for the swap along with my hubby to help with carrying things, cooking and child watching. He then ran out and bought a hose and a smaller inflatable splash pad since the big one was intimidating the younger kids.


All was required of everyone else was to make their projects and bring a dish for the pot luck picnic. They could contribute money towards the pavilion too if they had it.


I did all this while working full time, caring for a toddler and a 10 year old most of the time, managing my house and oh yeah, the past two weeks – I did it all alone, just me and Jellybean since Joey was working out of town.


There was 15 moms who signed up with a total of 23 kids between them. So we all agreed to do 23 bags. In fact a few of the mom’s initially said they wouldn’t participate because they had more than one child. Everyone piped up with “oh, its ok, its just a few more bags.”


So if everyone had shown up on Saturday they would have gone home with 17 activities since I along with another mom actually made two activities each. 2 moms didn’t make it so we ended up at 15 bags each.


Yesterday, I remembered why I try to stick with guy friends.


Girls are catty.


And Bitchy.


The complaining started once everyone got home with their bags.


Why did I only get 15 bags if I had to make 23?


That’s not fair.


If you had more than one kid you should have done an activity for each child you had.


I referred everyone back to the original conversations we had. The document that spelled it all out. The number of activities that were being done along with the number of children we had.


Still they claimed miscommunication. Personally, in my job we call that a failure on each person’s part to read the communication which they have been provided with.


Then someone said it was bad karma to not make extra bags.


My thought? It’s bad karma to expect a mom of 4 to make 92 bags. I guarantee she won’t have the time or money to do it and thus wouldn’t be able to participate. I think it was good karma on everyone else’s part to make the extra bags and allow her to be a part of it to. We all made 23 bags. Everyone put the same amount of work in. Are we all really so materialistic that we are begrudging someone the fact that they have more kids so they need more bags?


I enjoyed myself. I spent more time, money and energy on this event than anyone else. I would gladly do it all again. I never felt bad that I was making 46 bags and only getting back 15. Instead I was excited that all these kids would get to try some cool new activities.


Hearing all these ladies griping and complaining really soured me on some of them. I expected better of them and I’m disappointed in them.


So I’m taking a breather from them. Because I don’t like the negativity and if that’s how they work then No, I don’t want to be a part of that group. I’d rather be a involved with people who give without expecting anything in return because that to me is what friendship is about.


Guys do a much better job at that if you ask me. Joey’s friends have shown up to move furniture, pressure wash a house or paint and were happy to just get a meal and a six pack out of it. There’s never any “I did more than you” discussions.


Maybe I just need to go back to only socializing with guys. It was much easier.


Because as much as we say guys never grow up…I totally felt like I was back in high school listening to these women go back and forth.




So, some of these people, I’m weeding out of my group of friends, because I don’t need people like that around me or my kid. Jellybean will grow up to appreciate what he has and not to wonder why so and so has more.


I miss just having guy friends. Who didn’t care that I was going out in my pj’s or that I was mooching off of them that night for free beer. Guys are great at give and take.


Women –


Are just plain crazy!




Thursday, August 2, 2012

You ARE Beautiful Already

This should really be a PYHO post but I never know if I’ll have a chance to go in and link up so this is a maybe PYHO but a definite get it off my chest post.


I recently had to hide someone from my news feed on Facebook. The status updates were getting to the point that they were upsetting me. Not because they were vulgar or ranty all the time.


No, it was because I honestly just felt bad for this person. Their self worth and their total lack of self esteem.


I knew given their past that they had body image issues but I guess I never understood just how deep they really were.


If you know me, you know that I have self confidence in abundance. I rarely wear make up and I feel just as put together talking to you in a ratty tank top, sweat pants, barefoot , greasy hair in a messy bun as I would if I was dressed to the nines and professionally styled. Actually I may feel more comfortable and in my element in the sweats. I’ve never been someone who needed to look good to feel good. I have always felt that my brain would get me much further then beauty ever could. I, of course, love it when I look banging, I’ve even been known to say to the hubby – “Damn, you have a hot wife!” but inner beauty will make you look beautiful.


So this person. They are about my age. A parent. And seems so unhappy and insecure.


Layers of make up.


Undertaking one procedure after another. Not kidding you. Botox, Rejuvaderm, Manicures, Pedicures, Hair styling, procedures I don’t even understand. At 30.


Then there are the posts of this expensive purchase or that one. Shoes, Watches. Dinners out 3 or 4 times a week.


I *think* the intention is to make people jealous. The old “I’m better then you” because I have all this and I’m doing all this.


That fails with me though. I don’t want ALL THAT.


I want my friends to feel good when they roll out of bed, hair a mess, teeth unbrushed.


I want them to know that they are worth ENOUGH to everyone in their lives regardless of the clothes or jewelry they wear or the amount of money in their bank account. That they are loved for who they are and what they do. Not what they have.


I’m can’t name a single friend I have simply because of the things they possess or how they look. That is all superficial. It can be taken away. Plus it won’t make me feel good when hanging out with you. I want someone I can relate with on a personal level. That isn’t thinking – “Damn, she needs a hair cut!” while chatting with me.


REAL people with REAL problems and REAL empathy and compassion for others.


You are beautiful when you walk away from someone having made them feel better about themselves. Times are tough. Most of us struggle from one paycheck to the next. It doesn’t make anyone feel better to see you flaunting your haves when others are have nots. There is no procedure, outfit, hair do or product that will give you inner beauty. That is something you must tend and grow. To let it shine through without saying a word about it. Don’t speak of the good deeds you do, let them speak for themselves.


I have another friend. Her husband has been unemployed for almost a year now. They have 3 kids. She works as a teacher and has had 2 weeks off all year. She still finds the time to volunteer, lend a hand or a kind word every chance she gets.  I don’t think she’ll be posing for Swimsuit Illustrated any time soon but I often have the thought – How can I be more like her? Because she is gracious, a good mother, a good friend and someone I would like to emulate.


The other? I wouldn’t strive to be like for all the money in the world.


God made me beautiful even with all my imperfections. My c-section scar is beautiful because it gave me my son. My five head  (rather than forehead) will remind me of my dad long after he is gone. My frizzy hair is from my mom.


I’ll never be taller, curvy or stunning. I’m still beautiful. I will drop what I’m doing in a second to help a friend out. Not because I want the recognition but because I’d want them to do the same for me. I’d rather bake my hubby a cake from scratch for his birthday then take him to the most expensive restaurant in town . (Even if that cake ended up being a three day process!)


I don’t think anyone is better than me because of the things they have. Many of those people fill their lives with *things* to make up for the very things they are missing.


Love, Friendship, Affection, Self worth, feeling valued. I could go on.


You can’t buy any of that.


You can find it, grow it and treasure it though.


Piece by piece those other things won’t matter as much either.


One open mouthed sloppy kiss from Jellybean is worth more than anything I could ever buy.


And that my friends is beautiful too!






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