Wishing all of you a joyous 2013!
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Today my oldest nephew turns 21.
I’m booking the pavilion for Jellybean’s 2nd birthday party.
My oldest nephew and niece from my middle sister have a girlfriend and boyfriend. That they go on dates with. Not just holding hands in the cafeteria type dates.
I’m almost halfway through this pregnancy with Jujube.
Christmas is less than a week away. (And I have none of my homemade gifts made yet that I need to distribute Friday. I also haven’t mailed Christmas Cards yet!)
Time is flying by. Each day is so bittersweet.
I watch Jellybean. So advanced for his age and learning more every day. I’m proud but I almost want to yell, “Stop! Slow down. Mommy’s not ready!”
He is though. Mommy will never be ready.
My sister sent me a picture of my nephew snuggling in a chair with his girlfriend and wrote “It’s so sweet but my heart is breaking a little bit.”
I get it. I think of our parents. Getting older. Their babies have babies. They wonder where the time went. Weren’t they just kissing our boo boos? Now they call during dinner time and we have to rush them off the phone as we simultaneously wash dishes, cook and throw elmo crackers at our kids with the promise of I’ll call you back later.
Then we forget or fall asleep.
But what if we don’t get the chance for later?
Today, right now is all we have.
Christmas isn’t a guarantee. Neither is this weekend. That birthday party or anything else.
I don’t need life to slow down.
I need to slow down .
Put the laptop away. Not rush through bath time so I get some extra down time. Make the twenty minute drive to my parent’s so they feel loved. Shut my mouth when I’m feeling crabby and say “I love you” to Joey instead of nagging. Send the Christmas Card to my oldest sister even if we don’t really talk.
Remember that every moment counts.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Last Thursday was perfectly shitastic.
It started at 8am with a phone call at work. Someone discovered a mistake with something and it was major. A project I hadn’t touched at all. I wasn’t involved in it and once we did our research my department hadn’t even made the mistake. But of course it became my problem. That consumed 80% of the rest of my day.
Which just kept getting worse.
Last Sunday night a breaker had blown at our house. The breaker controlled the lights to our living room, dining room and Jellybean’s room. We found out after that happened and a few fruitless visits to various hardware stores in the area that we really need to replace our entire breaker box since its ancient and a fire hazard. Yesterday I was finally able to locate a new breaker. To the tune of $38 for one single 15amp breaker – the same for a new system - $3.45. We put the new breaker in and it promptly blew again. So Joey has to climb in the attic and see if he can find wtf is wrong with it. Except he’s working out of town.
Then after work I had to take Jellybean back to the pediatrician as his cough still hadn’t improved from last week. If anything it was worse despite finishing a round of Zithromax. I had questioned the Zithromax script in the first place as it hadn’t worked well for him in the past but the ARNP swore that it worked best on this type of bacteria. NEGATIVE – never allowing them to prescribe it for him again. He not only still had bronchitis but now had an ear infection to boot thanks to all the fluid build up. Spiked a raging fever from it that night too. Once the thermometer hit 103 and kept going I popped the ibuprofen in his mouth as quickly as I could. He actually slept really well all night. Slowly he is getting back to normal. He was pitiful last week. It didn’t help that the wait at the pharmacy for his script was 3 hours either.
Then to top it off – Joey’s truck broke down again. I ordered over $200 worth of parts for him that a friend of his picked up and brought to him. He managed to make it back to town and his car broke down again at the pharmacy when he went to pick up Jellybean’s prescriptions. I drove over to jump him off, he put the new alternator in and hot a quarter of a mile down the road only to have the truck die again. We tried jumping it a few times and finally had to call a tow truck.
Come to find out they sold us a bad alternator.
We’ve also been dealing with the 2 yo sleep regression. Not familiar? It involves trying to get your child to go to bed from the hours of 8pm to 11pm. While he cries and screams “No Go BED” “NO GO BED!” Really fun times, especially when you’re pregnant and have to pee, eat and drink during that time. Then the next day he’s a cranky mess and asleep by 6:30 pm. I see the end of nap time ahead. Just in time to have a newborn.
Someone go drink a double for me? OK?
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Mom’s worry. Its in our nature. We want what’s best for our children and will do whatever it takes to make that happen.
Joey and I have been blessed with a VERY smart child. That’s not me being a proud mom. That’s the general consensus. He is very advanced for his age and quite honestly, it scare the living daylights out of me.
This child – who isn’t quite two, can open a door with keys – luckily he can’t reach the key hole. He has already memorized his favorite books and will read them. He knows how the childproof electrical outlets work. Can count to twenty. Knows his letters. Knows which words go with which letter and can spell the first part of his name.
He speaks in complete sentences.
I feel like I won’t be able to keep up with him. I’m actually wary about keeping him home with me during my maternity leave as I’m concerned I won’t be able to challenge him enough academically.
So when election day came around last month I made it a point to vote for a tax referendum that would have made sure our schools were getting enough money to operate. It came out to about an additional $75 a year on our property taxes. Well worth it when it comes to educating our youth – or so I thought. Apparently the rest of the county didn’t agree. The referendum failed to pass.
What does that mean?
The recap from our county says that due to the budget cuts the following will happen beginning with the 2013 school year –
Scary stuff, huh? Jellybean doesn’t begin school until 2016 but that doesn’t reassure me. That only means that the district will have been suffering for 3 years at that point. We picked our home because it was zoned for excellent schools. Now those schools are in jeopardy so we’re forced to think of the future and what we want to do.
We both attended public schools, myself through the university level and received excellent educations in the process. That was always my plan for my children too. Until this happened.
So we’ve been talking a lot lately, neither one of us feels that public school will be a good fit for Jellybean with the current state of the system.
Our choices as we see them are –
Or (and this is a long shot) my being able to get a job with the school system in the next county over – thus allowing our children to attend their schools. They happen to have a charter school for gifted children. That suggestion actually came from Jellybean’s day care – unsolicited by me. She thinks that’s where he needs to be by PreK.
Each area has its pros and cons. I know he would flourish in a Montessori environment but that doesn’t come cheaply. Most don’t accept or offer scholarship money either. There are some private schools in the area but just because you’re paying for it doesn’t mean the quality is better or even up to par. That’s a real problem for me. Homeschool is enticing but I don’t know if I’m cut out for it or if we could live on one budget. And the charter school depends on what our county has available at that time.
I know we have time to reach all these decisions and so many things can change between now and then but I’m a mom. I worry. . I never want to feel like I made the wrong decision when it comes to my child’s education.
This parenting thing….it comes with a huge burden of responsibility!
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
I posted awhile back that Jellybean had shown an interest in potty training so we were letting him take the lead and try it.
That didn’t last long with all the craziness of the holidays, traveling here and there, Joey working overtime, etc. Potty training is really about training the parent and not the kid and we just weren’t that dedicated to it.
I really, really want him to be potty trained by the time Jujube gets here though so I needed to get my ass in gear.
Unknowingly, Jellybean gave me the perfect opportunity. He finished his antibiotic on Friday and like it always seems to happen he started complaining of a boo boo on his bottom last night. We went to change him and sure enough it was bright red. The inevitable antibiotic induced yeast infection. Since it was bed time when it happened last night we just washed him off, slathered on the nystatin cream and put him to bed.
This morning when he started complaining I decided to take a different approach. Jellybean is a pretty smart kid. (I’m not just saying that as his mom. The sucker has already figured out how to plug and unplug the Christmas lights – despite us having the childproof outlets installed!) I decided to reason with him. I took his diaper of and explained that if he used the potty his boo boo wouldn’t hurt and that it would get better faster. He needed to pee pee and poopy in the potty. Then I left the diaper off and went about my business of getting ready for the day.
About two minutes later he comes running into the kitchen – “Momma – Peepee on potty, peepee on potty!”
So we went in the bathroom and he sat down and made a poopy! I praised him, wiped him, let him wipe himself and we flushed. Kept the diaper off still and told him to let me know if he needed to go again.
Another two minutes and I’m being dragged to the potty again. This time he lets out a drop or two. He just wanted to flush again I think.
Then about five minutes later he drags me out of the bedroom – half dressed. We go in the bathroom. He has me sit on the big potty which he usually uses and he sits on the little one. And he pee pees. A real one too and not the little tinkles he usually does. I was shocked. Then of course he had to wipe again. (He loves wiping, if I’m going potty he’ll try to wipe for me! J )
So, this yeast infection has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. We talked about it some more on the way to day care. I reminded him that he needs to use the potty to keep his boo boo from hurting and he can tell his teachers if he needs to go. He repeated a lot of it back to me so I think he was actually listening and is going to try. Now its up to me to stay dedicated to it!
Potty training – Round 2!
Friday, December 7, 2012
As you all know – I LOVE being a mom.
Seriously – the best thing ever.
That said – occasionally, I find myself getting nostalgic for the old days – I blame country music. I mean a song like “Cruise” comes on and suddenly I can’t help but think back.
Back to driving around in Joey’s Jeep when we were dating. Blue is in the back slobbering out the window. The radio is up, windows down and we have no destination in mind. We really were just cruising on the back roads. Care free. We might have some Publix subs with us (mmm…Publix subs…I miss lunch meat…) and a bag of boiled peanuts.
Then there were the road trips to Mississippi where we’d just talk and laugh the whole way. We’d fall in love again during those 10 hour hauls. Sometimes get a little naughty on the way. (Hey – how do you think we ended up with two kids this quickly? We like each other. A LOT!) ;)
I wouldn’t change my life for the world but occasionally it’s be nice to travel back to a time where car payments, mortgages, health insurance day care, etc weren’t on the list. It was pay per view UFC fights on demand with a bonfire going in the back yard and good friends hanging out at home with a six pack.
Maybe its just me realizing how little free time we will really have once Jujube is here. Its how little together time I get with Joey since he’s been working so much. We squeeze it in when we can but I miss him. I wish my time with him didn’t mean doing chores, running errands and tackling grown up stuff.
Every once in awhile I’d love to go back to sitting on the back of a lift gate, staring at the beach and not thinking about a damn thing other then the hot guy sitting next to me.
Luckily, he’s my hubby and one day, when the kids are grown, we’re old, gray and flabby we will be that couple – sitting margaritas on the beach and feeling content with how full our lives really were.
What do you get nostalgic for?
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Today was especially trying as he was still sick but on the mend so he didn't know what he wanted. Playing then whining, a tantrum at naptime that included pegging me in the eye and the nose with a had book. Then he got yelled at and had to fuss himself to sleep while I checked for bleeding. Woke up from his nap miserable too. I think he ate three popsicles today and not much of anything of sustenance. I'm actually looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. Days like this make me wonder if I could ever be a SAHM!
So on to Jujube.
Saturday was the big day - the gender reveal!
Joey and I got ready for it by fighting like cats and dogs Friday night and part of Saturday morning. I'm starting to think he has pregnancy hormones himself...
Anywho we finally got to my sister's loaded everyone up and headed to the ultrasound. My facebook feed was hopping with guesses. They were all for girl.
We get there and Jujube wants nothing to do with a photo shoot. Jujube is nestled in there, back turned to us, legs fused together.
She has me roll to one side...
Then the other...
I offer to get on all fours. Everyone laughs. (Hey, It worked with Jellybean!)
Finally, Jujube gets tired of all the commotion and....
THE MONEY SHOT!
Jujube is all boy! We are thrilled - Jellybean gets a playmate and best friend.
We're also lucky enough to get to honor Joey's best friend who passed away to cancer when Jellybean was four months old. We've chosen to use his name as Jujube's.
Now - to prepare ourselves for two rambunctious boys in the house!
Anyone want to start sending window panes and drywall my way? We're going to need it!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
You know the saying – opinions are like assholes? Everyone has one.
That becomes startlingly true once you have children.
Everyone thinks they know how you should be raising your child. Family, friends, random strangers. All of them are right and knew someone who knew someone that did this or that and now their child is scarred for life.
Given that I have made some crunchy decisions when it comes to childrearing – I’ve definitely gotten told what I’m doing wrong more than once!
When we chose to cosleep – in order to preserve my sanity and ability to function during the day since Jellybean was reverse cycling and would be up all night eating – It was – “Oh – you’ll never get him out of your bed now! He’s going to be sleeping with you until he’s 10!”
We set up Jellybean’s toddler bed in our room a few months ago. He kept rolling off so we stuck a twin mattress on the floor beside it. Where he’s been comfortable sleeping through the night. Alone for the past few weeks. After the craziness of the holidays we’ll move it into his room and he will officially be transitioned into a big boy.
When I made the decision to let Jellybean self wean rather than cutting him off from breastfeeding I heard all about the neighbor who had a neighbor who had a 5 year old that would pull her shirt down in the middle of the street and latch on.
Jellybean has been down to mornings and nights for a few months now. The WHO recommends breastfeeding until at least 2 and that has been my goal. Now that my pregnancy with Jujube is progressing and my milk supply is dwindling Jellybean has almost weaned. On his own at 23 months. Without tears, tantrums or any trauma.
Instead of feeding a ton of purees we mainly did babyled weaning. Mostly because Jellybean didn’t want to be spoon fed. He had a mean pincer grasp by 6 months. Now at almost 2 he uses a regular, adult size fork like a pro along with a spoon and can drink out of a regular cup. To which my mom comments – but he barely eats and you don’t know how much he’s eating!
This is the child that usually eats two breakfasts and two lunches. He can down an entire can of ravioli by himself in a single sitting. He snacks on peppers, cucumbers and tomatoes.
He eats until he’s full and then he stops. It’s simple and healthy.
When it came to discipline we decided that neither of us remembered spanking being a very effective form of punishment for us. So we chose to go with time out and losing privileges. Which of course means we are going to have a wild and unruly child. He is in fact so wild and unruly that when I placed him in time out at my mom’s he stayed there until I said he could leave and then apologized after getting out.
Potty training is another area where we are letting him take the lead. Some weeks he’s really into it and wants to go all the time. Others he could care less about it. Since we aren’t forcing him to potty train he will of course still be in diapers when we get to college. Mind you this is a 23 month old that asks to go potty already.
I’ve never felt the need to apologize for my parenting choices. I occasionally felt bullied, especially by family, but I always stood my ground. I’m proud of the child we’ve raised so far and now with Jujube on the way I am even more confident in choosing those same things again this time. I have a child who is fiercely independent and has chosen each time how long he is going to do something and he stopped when he was ready. It made the transition easy on all of us. We may not fall under the status quo but luckily they aren’t the ones raising these kids.
Monday, November 26, 2012
How far along? 15 weeks 3 days
Total weight gain: Still about 6 lbs
Maternity clothes? Not yet but wearing leggings more often. Joey also had to peel a pair of jeans off of me on Saturday. I got them on realized I couldn't button them, then realized I couldn't get them off!
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: Ok - I have to pee a few times a night
Best moment this week: All the excitement I got from everyone about Jujube
Have you told everyone yet: Yes!
Miss Anything? Coffee- gives me heartburn now
Movement: Occasionally - baby likes hot tea with lemon alot!
Food cravings: Sweets lately
Anything making you queasy or sick: The reflux
Have you started to show yet: Sure have!
Gender prediction: Everyone thinks girl
Labor Signs: nope
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Most thankful for: My family and this miracle on the way
Looking forward to: Our gender ultrasound next Saturday
Dreading: The increasing back pain with this pregnancy. I need to get into the chiropractor!
Yesterday, the difference between men and women became glaringly obvious to me.
Jellybean fell asleep in the car on the way back from grocery shopping. We decided to let him sleep and I asked the hubby to bring the groceries in.
Which he did.
Then he sat down on the couch to watch some TV.
I was going to put groceries away but decided I needed to wash some dishes first.
Which meant I needed to put dishes away.
Then I washed the dishes.
I went to put groceries away but realized the fridge needed to be cleaned out.
Which meant I also repackaged all the leftovers into clear containers hoping that if we can see the food that’s in there we’ll actually eat it.
Then I had to wash the previous containers.
And wipe down the fridge.
Finally I could put some groceries away.
Somewhere in there Jellybean woke up.
Handed him a cheesestick and started heating up his lunch.
Sent Joey into Jellybean’s room to play with Choo Choo Trains.
Cut up a ridiculous amount of fruit to keep the fruitaholic happy for the week.
Washed those dishes.
Sat Jellybean down to his Spaghettio’s.
Started making sweet tea.
Prepping more meals for the week.
Joey is back on the couch.
Watch Jellybean feed the dog Spaghettio’s.
Hear Joey start the bath.
Look over and see Jellybean is covered from head to toe in Spaghettio’s.
Eat my salad.
Start prepping dinner. And fix lunches for today.
While Jellybean takes a bath.
Ask Joey if he will just sweep and mop once Jellybean falls asleep for the night.
Wake up this morning.
No sweeping, no mopping.
But I did get a recap of The Walking Dead.
Monday, November 19, 2012
There is such a thing as too much.
On Sunday – I met too much and it put me in my place.
Had my 14 week appointment with Jujube on Friday. All is well. My weight gain is still minimal, my bp is great and Jujube was all over the place. He/she wouldn’t stay still long enough for the nurse to get a heartbeat. All over the place! No wonder I’ve already felt him or her. Got my flu shot and the doctor found Jujube’s heartbeat right away!
Joey was working all weekend and our house was a wreck.
So I of course go the bright idea to clean the whole house. I had Jellybean’s room cleaned and straightened up before he even woke up Saturday. Then I just kept going. I swept, I mopped. I vacuumed. Changed sheets. 4 loads of laundry washed. Meals cooked. Some dishes washed. I wiped. Finally Saturday night I slowed it down and settled on the couch to watch Cars 2 with Jellybean.
Only to start again Sunday morning. By 6:50am I’d folded a basket of laundry and baked Cinnamon rolls. By 11am all baskets of laundry were folded and put away, we’d played outside AND we’d been to the park. I got Jellybean down for a nap without too much fuss, ate lunch myself and then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I’d overdone it. Couldn’t even think about another chore. Instead I laid down with Jellybean and caught a nap myself. Fed him lunch and then we headed to the thrift store and Dollar Tree for a little break. Joey called me during that time to tell me he was now working a double. The idea of having to go back home and finish washing dishes then cook a meal made we want to cry.
So I did what any pregnant, headachy, tired 30 year old mom of an energetic toddler would do.
I headed to MY mom and dad’s so they could take care of us instead. I lounged in the living room while Jellybean ordered my parents around. I snacked, he snacked. They fed us dinner and then we both headed home. Happy and taken care of.
Sometimes – TOO MUCH has to remind me to meet my other good friend –
TAKE IT EASY!
Amazingly – the dishes and laundry are still there. I’ll tackle them tonight while Joey plays with Jellybean and the house resumes its normal chaos and mess!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Can I gloat about how far my hubby has come in the breastfeeding journey?
He’s from Mississippi. Where pretty much no one breastfeeds. Its formula out of a bottle. That’s the norm. He had no experience with breastfeeding prior to Jellybean and a huge learning curve. He’d occasionally get jealous or frustrated when Jellybean only wanted me. Slowly though he grew to love it.
He didn’t have to wake up during the night! He started to understand all the benefits. He was proud of the fact that I was doing what was best for our child. He became my biggest supporter. He started letting his friends wives and girlfriends who were expecting know that I could offer them advice if needed.
What really made me realize how far he has come though was this morning. The man who use to think extended breastfeeding was a little weird brought our almost two year old into bed at 5:30 saying here have some milkies and snuggle with Mommy. Daddy has to go to work.
Now, let’s see what he thinks about tandem nursing if we get there come May! J
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
I had one of those nights last night that left me wondering all sorts of things.
Here let me share with you 10 minutes inside my brain –
How is it possible to be gassy, nauseous and have heartburn simultaneously?
(Answer – pregnancy)
What does a husband consider to be cleaning the kitchen up?
(Answer – piling all of the dirty dishes by the sink for you to wash, then making piles of various other stuff for you to go through and wiping down the surfaces. Thanks, babe, thanks!)
What’s the biggest mistake you can make when putting your toddler to sleep?
(Answer – Assuming they are asleep since they haven’t said anything in 10 minutes. So you try out your stealth ninja moves you’ve perfected over the past 22 months to extricate your arm and shoulder from under their body. Only to have them say “ Hey , Momma! Choo Choo Train?” Insert another 30 minutes to get them asleep!)
Is there actually a sippy cup out there that is spill proof?
(Answer – Nope, that is why you’re sitting in this wet spot on the couch. Which is going to leave a water spot.)
What is the purpose of a booster seat?
(Answer – to contain my child for the 3 months he would sit in in. Now he climbs in my seat at the dinner table and eats off my plate. A little big for his britches me thinks!)
Where does the other sock go?
(Answer - …crickets…)
How is it when I actually get some extra money in my account it dissapears quicker then a regular paycheck?
(Answer – My husband.)
When is the last time I dusted up there?
(Answer – I’m too short to see it so technically there is no dust.)
Why won’t the fricken dog stop peeing and pooping in the house?
(Answer – Because the fricken hubby can’t handle his ONE responsibility in the mornings. You know while I get two people, dressed ready, fed and out the door.)
I should get up and get the meat for dinner tomorrow out of the freezer and into the fridge. And cut up the veggies.
(Answer – Hungry Howies has $5 pizza’s on Wednesdays.)
Why am I still awake?
(Answer – Apparently I enjoy torturing myself.)
What are 10 minutes inside your brain like?
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
I thought the second trimester was supposed to bring more energy and in a way it has. I’m 13 weeks and I no longer feel like I’m dragging ass all day long. I can actually stay awake past 8 pm now, which is nice.
Sadly though, my motivation is still nowhere to be found. It takes me all week to do chores I would usually get out of the way in a few hours. Granted some of that is due to the not quite 3 foot tall terror who manages to undo my chores while they are being done.
Oh, wow, you just folded all those clothes and towels? You know what’s REALLY fun? Grabbing those off the put away pile and dragging them all over this floor! That hasn’t been mopped yet! Then let’s pull all the clothes off the hangers too! Man- I have the best ideas!
Then there are nights like last night. Where both Joey and I got sucked onto the couch and somehow ended up watching 2 hours of mindless renovation shows on HGTV. I could have done chores while I sat there but I didn’t.
I may actually be hoping the nesting bug hits me because there is so much that needs to get done and I’m sadly lacking in the want to get it done department.
My biggest accomplishment for yesterday was getting a 4D ultrasound package for $28. Then convincing my sister to buy one for us as a gift. So December 1st we’re going to know if Jujube is pink or blue and then in March we’ll go again and get some cute chubby shots.
Until then, I’ll be on the couch. Eating Oreos and getting ideas on how to finish a basement. Since I don’t even have a basement.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Got pregnant again - naturally!
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
A noble plan. He had the ripped jeans. I made him a Ramones shirt. And he had a leather jacket.
Unfortunately, his hair was our downfall. It would not hold a fauxhawk. No amount of gel, hairspray or hair wax would keep it up.
So – we ended up with a greaser from The Outsiders. Just setting you up to be an outcast before you hit two, there Ponyboy. It’ll be alright!
Hey Jellybean! You want to go trick or treating and get some candy?
No not really, Mom. I just want to ride.
Besides, you already have a whole bowl full of candy here. Why do I need to go anywhere?
Well buddy, the neighbors wanted to see you all dressed up.
They can see me, I’m right here in the front yard!
Friday, November 2, 2012
Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce.
Total weight gain/loss? I'm up around 5 lbs right now
Upcoming Appointments? Had my NT Scan today. OB appointment in 2 weeks.
Are you in Maternity clothes? Nah - I still fit in mine!
How are you sleeping? Awesome actually! Counting my blessings on that one
Pregnancy symptoms? Still a little nausea here and there. Starting to get some aches and pains and heartburn. The fatigue thank goodness has finally lifted! Oh and I'm bitchy!
Weekly BOOO HOOOO? My raise at work wasn't nearly what I thought it would be. At least I got a raise though - right?
Weekly WHOO HOOO? This -
Jujube is measuring 12 weeks exactly. Jellybean and Joey were both there for the scan. Heartbeat was 166 bpm. Jujube had the hiccups during the scan - so cute! Also my profit sharing check from work will cover a huge chunk of my deductible. Usually use that for Christmas presents but oh well!
2 weeks til the second trimester. 26 weeks to my c-section. It seems to be flying and crawling by all at once!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
While we were trying to conceive the message boards over at She Knows were my best friends. I actually still talk to many, many of those ladies to this day. Most of us have graduated from our journey and are parents now but the bonds we formed during that time will last a lifetime. I frequented the TTC #1 and the Cycle Buddies boards. The boards are much quieter now then when I was there but Cycle Buddies is still pretty active. Other boards tend to pick up as people keep posting. So why SK? Well for me I've tried other boards and the main issues I've run into is that many are too busy - you feel like you never get to know anyone there and that they can get pretty judgey. I haven't experienced that at SK - only support.
When you're trying to conceive and/or dealing with infertility it can get discouraging to turn to family and friends to support. They mean well but there's only so much of "If you just relax", "It'll happen when the time is right", "Have you tried..." that you can handle - having other ladies who are going through the same thing as you and having a safe place to vent is priceless. They even have private boards for the subjects you don't want everyone to be able to read. These boards are what convinced me to go to an RE, to leave that RE and to work with my doctor. I learned so much from these ladies and feel like an honorary aunt to all of their babies now!
Equally important is the support during pregnancy. At home, work, friends and on line. I was part of a Due Date board at SK with Jellybean and joined one again with Jujube. I originally tried going over to JustMommies but I felt like I got lost in the shuffle there. There was something like 80 ladies in that group. I also use my breastfeeding group on Facebook for support. I make sure Joey pitches in. Even when he doesn't feel like it. The biggest thing for me right now - If I'm with family and they want to do anything with Jellybean - go for a walk, play, etc. I let them. I don't care if it throws his nap off or messes up our schedule. It's a break for me and I need those right now.
When it comes to support it also means holding people accountable. Take this morning for instance. The alarm went off, it was cold outside and warm under the covers. Joey says to me - I think I'm going to stay home today and finish the bedroom. To which my immediate response was - I think not.
Because I have my NT scan on Friday along with bloodwork and a flu shot. When I scheduled it two weeks ago he agreed that he would go into work late that day so he could come with me to the appointment and watch Jellybean. Otherwise I have to leave early drive all the way to day care and then back track to get to the doctor's office. I was counting on him and this was the first time in two weeks he had mentioned not going to my appointment. Also - I have a budget. When he misses a day of work it blows our budget. I pointed all those things out to him (nicely) and said if he really wanted he could stay home on Friday. He got up and left for work. He may not have been happy about it but he did it.
If you don't have a support network in place as you're TTC or pregnant - find one. Look for message groups for pregnant women in your area, check with local hospitals to see if they have one, go to La Leche meetings, WIC also has meetings. RE offices usually have groups too. Don't be afraid to ask for help. If I need help getting my house in order I call my parents. Don't feel like a bitch for not committing to certain things. You have to take care of yourself and if you don't feel up to doing something then don't. It's okay.
What advice do you have for ladies TTC or pregnant? What was your best support during pregnancy?