Thursday, February 25, 2010

Everybody Needs Somebody

There are times where no matter how you look at it life just really sucks. We all know that marriage is a game of give and take. There will be times where you are contributing more and other times when your partner does. This tends too work most of the time. Unfortunately there are situations where a person had given all they can and its time to switch roles but neither person is in a position to be able to do that.

This past week has been one of those situations for Joey and myself. We are both stressed out, dealing with a million different emotions and problems and we both need what the other person can't give right now.
I was driving to work this morning and as fate would have it - this Keith Urban song came on -

So here you are now, nowhere to turn
It's just the same old yesterday
You made a promise to yourself
That you were never gonna be this way
And the only thing that you've ever know is to run
So you keep on drivin faster into the sun

But everybody needs somebody sometimes
Yeah, everybody needs somebody sometimes

This was almost enough to make me tear up and drive back home for a mental health day! We are going through things right now that require a lot of changes in both of us and personal growth. I tend to thrive in these situations but for Joey it is extremely difficult.

He really is the type that doesn't like to rely on anyone else, feels that he should be able to sort out through everything himself. He doesn't think he should have to ask for help. In his words  - "Only I can help myself."
I have to constantly reinforce the no man is an island concept to him but also remind him that the concept only works if you surround yourself with the right kind of people.

He has been more likely to take the "run" option over the "white flag" option. Right now running from the changes we need to make won't get us anywhere.

You don't have to find your own way out
You've got a voice let it be heard
Just when it feels you're on a dead-end road
There's always somewhere left to turn
So dont give up now you're so close to a brand new day
Yes you are
And if you just can bare to be alone then I'll stay

'Cause everybody needs somebody sometimes
Yeah, everybody needs somebody sometimes

The problem with deaing with issues simultaneoulsy is that feeling that you don't have your partner there to help and support you. You want them there to make it all better but they are trying just as desperately as you to grasp on to any semblance of normal that may be left. What ends up happening is you push each other further away in the process.

Its been very hard for me to look outside the situation and see what he is going through. I want him to see what I am going through. What I feel. What I need. Yes, I am being extremely selfish at the moment and I'm not proud of it. I know that this would be easier if we could support each other rather than getting snippy.
I know that mouthing off at the other person isn't helping either one of us and that one of us needs to stand up and say enough is enough - we need to support each other. We're just having a hard time figuring out which one of us that is going to be.

Well maybe I've been too caught up
To see what you've been going through
All that i can say is that I'm here now

And everybody needs somebody sometimes
You know they do

I guess the solution to our stressful situation right now is to realize we both need each other. That as difficult as it is to see through what you are dealing with and focusing on someone other than yourself you have to empathise. We aren't going to get anywhere by being wrapped up in ourselves. They say by helping others you help yourself.

So, I guess I'll pull on my big girl panties tonight and say "I'm here now. Let's do this - together."

Wish me luck and maybe send up a prayer too. I have a feeling we're going to need it and that there's a LONG, bumpy road ahead.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Post It Note Tuesday

Trying this out for a change!

Yep - my Monday totally sucked but I'm trying to leave it behind with the hopes that the rest of the week will be better. If not you will find me at the Olive Garden on Friday after work with a pitcher of Sangria!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Menu Plan Monday

You can find out more about Menu Plan Monday at I'm an Organizing Junkie.
I did an awful job at sticking to our plan last week so pardon my repeats!

Monday - Beef Stew (Thank you Paula Deen!)
Tuesday -Hot Dogs and French Fries
Wednesday - Grilled Cheese and Soup
Thursday -Buttermilk Fried Chicken, Mashed Potatoes, Cornbread, Corn
Friday - Fish, Brown Rice, Asparagus
Saturday/Sunday - Need to go Grocery Shopping to get that far ahead!!

Buttermilk Fried Chicken


1 (3 1/2) pound broiler-fryer chicken, cut up
1 cup buttermilk
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
oil for frying

  1. Place chicken in a large shallow dish. Pour buttermilk over; cover and refrigerate for 1 hour.
  2. Combine the flour, salt and pepper in a large resealable plastic bag. Drain chicken pieces; add to flour mixture, one at a time, and shake to coat. Shake off excess; let stand on waxed paper for 15 minutes before frying.
  3. Heat 1/8 to 1/4 in. of oil in a large skillet; fry chicken until browned on all sides. Cover and simmer, turning occasionally, for 40-45 minutes, or until juices run clear and chicken is tender. Uncover and cook 5 minutes longer. Remove chicken; drain on paper towels and keep warm.

Not Me Monday

Not Me Monday was created by MckMama -- It's an opportunity to get a little therapy for all those things you would never do, but did :) Click here for all the rules.
Wow, another week has passed already? Where does the time go?

Well this past week here are some of the things I definitely did not even consider doing at any point in time.

I did not forget to wear sunblock at the Daytona 500 and end up breaking out in massive, disgusting sun blisters on my nose which made me look and feel like crap. I would never do something that foolish especially knowing that I am extremely sensitive to the sun!

I also did not slice my hand open while raking leaves yesterday since I know that the rake handle has some jagged splinters on it and I have to wear gloves when using it. The gloves were not laying right out on the counter outside where I could have easily grabbed them and avoided the pain I caused myself. (again!)

I did not let the dog sleep on the air mattress cuddled up to my niece just because they looked so darn cute together.

My nephew also did not tell me that he comes over to our house to see Uncle Joey first and foremost. This was not where he spent most of his time watching the movie Friday night.

I also was not forced to watch a movie about crime fighting Guinea Pigs. File that under an hour and a half of my life I will never get back! Nope Not Me!

Anything you know you didn't do last week?

Friday, February 19, 2010

Five Question Friday

My Little Life

Five Question Friday is just a fun way to get to know other bloggers. Click above to find out more and join in on the fun!

1. Have you ever hit an animal with your vehicle?

Not only have I hit an animal with a vehicle. I also managed to do it with a bicycle. We'll start with the bike incident...

When we first moved to Florida my then 13-year-old sister was not happy to be separated from all her friends in NY so she would "run away" three or four times a week. By "run away" I mean she would be three streets over at a friends house and usually came home by 8 or 9 pm. My mom however had a hard time grasping this and would send me out to find her and bring her home. So one fateful day I hopped on my bike to chase her down. I rode over to her friends house and sure enough there she was. (I was and still am very sensitive when upset!) I started to tell her Mom wanted her to come home and she took off on me. So I start pedaling after her and this poodle runs out of nowhere. I can't avoid it and slam into it with my bicycle. The dog yelped and ran off fine but I was devastated. Inconsolable. Karolina turned back and had to take over the comforting big sister role because I just fell apart. She of course came home after this and I can still claim to be one of few people that hit a dog with my bike. (FYI I brake for squirrels!)

The other animal I hit I can't identify as it was 5am and a dark middle of nowhere road. I'll deduce it was either a raccoon, possum, or armadillo but I was tired and on my way to a 7am class in college so I didn't stop to find out.

2. When you see a string on your clothes do you pull it off or cut if off?

This depends on whether I have scissors or a knife close by but usually I just rip the sucker off.

3. Did you have your own room or share a room when you were young?
Both I shared a room with my sister in NY until my oldest sister followed by random other family members from Poland moved out. Then Karolina got her own room for three weeks until we moved to Florida where we shared a room again for three or four years and then I had my own room again. Now I'm married and have to share my room all over again.

4. Would you rather wear the same thing for the rest of your life or eat the same thing for the rest of your life?

I could wear sweats and a tank top for the rest of my life without any problem whatsoever.

5. What was your favorite TV show as a child?
Probably Full House and the whole TGIF lineup. I remember watching them with the whole family. They don't have shows like that anymore. Sigh...


MckLinky Blog Hop


A Comedy of Errors

Sorry for the lack of pictures to accompany this post but I wasn't prepared for what my Friday morning would bring.

6:00am - I'm in the kitchen fixing Joey's lunch while Blue finishes his dinner from last night. I see Cadillac stalk over to the bamboo plant and eyeing it.
"Cadillac - we don't drink water out of the house plants"
Lap, lap, lap, lap, lap.
"Okay Cadillac - I guess we do drink out of the houseplants!"

(Important note: We keep Cadillac's food bowl on the  windowsill in the bathroom so Blue can't eat all his food)

6:15am - I'm in our bathroom getting ready for my day since Joey just left. I have all my "stuff" laid out on our very slippery counter top.

Cadillac starts meowing and the rest happens in slow motion. He starts to jump up on the counter so he can hop over to his bowl and I watch as his paws slip on all my stuff and he starts sliding.....sideways..and down...
This would be where I started laughing hysterically and spewed toothpaste all over the mirror. Cadillac shook himself off and ran into the bathroom where a vigorous bathing session took place.

Sometimes - I really love Fridays!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Can I get a little acknowledgement around here?

As you may have noticed - I've spruced up the old blog a little bit. I spent a huge amount of time playing with Photoshop and learning the ins and outs of it and I have to say -I"m pretty darn proud!

I felt the blog deserved the spruce up since me personally - I'm not looking to hot at the moment. I have EXTREMELY sensitive skin and am extremely prone to cold sores, fever blisters and sun blisters. Well, guess who the idiot was that went to the Daytona 500 and sat out there for six hours without sunscreen? You know because it was COLD, and ridiculously sunny? And then guess who woke up this morning with not only a cold sore but massive blisters on my nose?

Through the wonders of make up it only looks half as bad as I think it does. I plan on lotioning, loofahing and face masking it tonight.

Now I didn't just pretty up my blog to make myself feel better. I have some Reese's in the fridge to do that. I've noticed there has been quite a few of you stopping by and checking out the old blog. Well do you know what every blogger absolutely loves?


Yep if you get to the bottom of my post you'll notice a place where it probably says - 0 COMMENTS - and what I would really like it to say is - 9864648635416516541 COMMENTS. Because then I know you really are reading and laughing at...er...with me. So next time you see that 0 COMMENTS, BE BRAVE - show me a little love. I also promise that I in turn will become a commenting machine on all of the blogs I follow.

I think we can make this friendship work people, we've just got to compromise a bit!

...Now, I'll be waiting on your comments.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Something Different for Valentine's Day

I've talked before about how I am the primary breadwinner in our family here. Ordinarily it's not much of an issue for Joey and myself but there are a few instances where it makes things difficult on Joey - mainly holidays/gift giving occasions. I have been lucky enough to be able to take Joey to amusements parks, concerts, etc since I was earning more. (All this was obviously before we bought a house) He never said anything to me about it bothering him until recently when he told me he wanted to be able to be the one to do something special for me.

I of course went into a speech about not needing money or gifts to feel special and I would be just as happy to have him make me dinner as to take me out. The hubby quite frankly did not believe a word of it and went on making his plans.

Joey knew that even though I have lived in or around Daytona (The HOME of Nascar) since 1991 I have never ever been to an actual race. I've been to the track, watched practice but never an actual race. He decided that for Valentine's Day we were going to see the Daytona 500. I of course didn't believe him...until he came home with two beautiful, bonafide tickets! WE WERE REALLY GOING!!!

I prepared for the race the best way I knew how - by not doing much of anything all day Saturday. I made it to the grocery store and cooked some steaks for dinner. That was enough for me!

I was up bright and early Sunday and finally managed to get Joey out of bed around 9. I had explained to him what a nightmare traffic and parking is but he of course knew better! Oh well.

We managed to get in the car and out the door by around 9:30. It was smooth sailing for the first five miles to the track (which is only like 11 miles from our house) then we hit traffic like you had never seen. During which I of course had to pee. I amused myself by taking pictures instead!
The line of cars waiting to exit the freeway. I briefly considered whether I could pee behind those trees in the distance.

So we finally got there, I was forced to pee in a port-a-pottie outside a 7-11. (This would have to have been the single most disgusting experience of my life. I still gag thinking about it. I have no idea how my husband uses those every day at the job site. I would rather hold it!)

Then mercifully, finally we were through the gates. The big draw for me was that Tim McGraw was doing the preshow. Until we got to our seats.....a mile (literally) away from where he was performing. I would be watching him on here -

Yup - A JumboTron. Oh well. I still wasn't going to let it rain on my parade. People watching was next on my list and I wasn't disappointed. There was missing teeth, camouflage and beer all around.  Yep - Iwas out of my comfort zone. Not to worry though - I was prepared. The one thing I wasn't prepared for was just how LOUD and fast the cars are. It's completely different than seeing it on TV.

Then the lady next to me decided we were best friends and shared that she had left her husband of 20 years due to an abusive relationship and the guy that she brought with her was "just a friend". No really, all those beers make people super friendly. Sometime during all this Joey disappeared for an hour or so, a crack developed in the track that forced a red flag and all the cars were stopped, the temperature dropped about 20 degrees, and Joey reappeared with a strawberry daquiri for me!

Yep, we really are that stinkin cute together!

The crack in the pavement!
What else can you do during an hour and a half wait?
My husband can't hold a camera straight!

This was obviously while the cars were racing.

At this point we were freezing and tired of waiting so we decided to leave. I was obviously driving since Joey drank half my daquiri and quite a few beers. I learned that the race is a lot easier to watch on TV and warmer. I also learned that it was worth going out there once for the experience. Spending the whole day with Joey and being showered with love affection wasn't too bad either.

(Until he fell asleep in the car on the way home, then slept on the living room floor and ate half my pizza when he woke up!) 

Monday, February 15, 2010

Not Me Monday

Not Me Monday was created by MckMama -- It's an opportunity to get a little therapy for all those things you would never do, but did :) Click here for all the rules.

My greatest accomplishment on Saturday was not finally dragging myself off the couch around 1pm and going to Wal-mart for our prescriptions and groceries. Picking up the prescriptions did not turn into a mini soap opera with them not running one prescription through insurance that needed to be and telling me that another had to wait until Monday because the doctor wrote take as directed but didn't leave any directions which would cause insurance to deny it except my insurance doesn't cover it anyway so it did not take an additional half hour to get the prescriptions despite dropping them off Friday night.

It did not take us three attempts to blow up the air mattress on Friday night for our movie date. This was not because we kept popping out the cap rather than tightening it. We are much more coordinated than that.

I did not officially become part redneck yesterday after attending my first NasCar race. (Full blog on that tomorrow with pictures -it'll be worth it!)

Menu Plan Monday

You can find out more about Menu Plan Monday at I'm an Organizing Junkie.
As always - you may see some repeats since we don't always stick to our plan!

Monday - Portobello Burgers w/Swiss Cheese (The hubby is just starting to eat mushrooms so I hope he likes these since I LOVE them), Spring Mix Salad w/fruit
Tuesday - Chicken alfredo (Didn't get to it last week)
Wednesday - Kielbasa skillet with Potatoes, Onions, and green peppers
Thursday - Grilled Cheese and Soup
Friday - Hot Dogs, French Fries, Salad (I'm going to have my sister's kids for the weekend!)
Saturday - Fish, Brown Rice, Asparagus
Sunday - Raiding the freezer

No recipes this week since its such a simple menu!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Enough Practicing Already!!

One of the few things that I want more than anything in the world is to start a family with my hubby. As I mentioned before we had some struggles here and there with conceiving and recently we decided to take a break while Joey sorted out a few medical issues he was having. I THOUGHT I was okay with waiting and that I could handle it until he gave me the go ahead. December passed and I didn't say anything about it. (That may have been because we were painting the house, scheduling inspections, Christmas shopping and driving to Mississippi and back - TWICE! I prefer to think it was an incredible display of understanding and compassion on my part though!) I also made it through all of January without pushing the subject....too much. The problem is I am not a patient person AT ALL. I hemmed and hawed and had a few crying fests. Luckily Joey was out working on his uncle's truck through most of these episodes so he managed to miss them.

I finally decided to bring the subject up with him. I explained that I didn't think we were going to just get pregnant on our own after he mentioned that he thought we would. (It's been 18 months honey and not even a hint of a BFP!) Not that I mind the trying but there are only so many dress rehearsals before the Big Show - right? I told him that even if we got pregnant he would have 9 months to get use to the idea. He didn't want to spend all the money with the RE again - and neither did I. (Insert segue here...)

Reproductive Endocrinologists can be your best friend if you are having trouble conceiving and you find the right practice. Unfortunately, I don't think our practice was the right one. They missed doing a few important blood tests, prescribed too low of a dosage of medication on a cycle I was paying out the nose for, had me trigger too early and tried to push me towards doing an IUI on only our second medicated cycle. I think some offices firmly try to steer their patients towards the IVF route and set other procedures up to have a smaller chance of succeeding so their patients will go with the procedure that makes the practice more money. You live and learn though and now we are wiser and will seek help elsewhere if we decide to go that route....(Back to our regularly scheduled programming..)

I told hubby that luckily my amazing Ob/Gyn can prescribe us Clomid to try again. A quick visit to the Doctor and this show could be on the road again! To my surprise Joey agreed that we should try again and see what happens. The following Monday I called the office and managed to get an appointment for the very next day. (Did I mention his office is amazing?) He was shocked to hear that the RE office only had me on 25mg of Clomid and immediately said we would try a higher dose and if that didn't work he would up it again. We are doing some cycle day 3 blood work to check my ovarian reserve and will do a progesterone check to make sure I ovulated. I should start taking my pills sometime next week and hopefully the higher dose will do the trick. I ordered my OPK's off eBay and am anxiously waiting for them to get here. The best news from the appointment though was finding out that we didn't need to go through the RE if we decide to do an IUI either. That could end up costing over $1,000 with all of the ultrasounds and other things that insurance doesn't cover. With my doctor it's about $200 out the door.

I don't think that all of this is a struggle I would wish upon anyone. It's extremely frustrating to not have control over your own body and to hear of others getting pregnant month after month. Sure you are happy for them but there is definitely some why me? Moments there. I have a friend who is just getting started in this whole process of learning how to overcome infertility and I wish I could give her advice that will make it easier but I can't because there just isn't any. You just keep hoping, trying, and praying that one day it will be your turn.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Not Me Monday

Not Me Monday was created by MckMama -- It's an opportunity to get a little therapy for all those things you would never do, but did :) Click here for all the rules.
Oh what a week!

I did not wake up last Sunday night swallowing down vomit after my husband had the stomach flu the week before and still drag myself to work Monday morning. I did not then go home at lunch that day and spend the next two days violently ill.

I did not have a meltdown Wednesday night on my way home from work complete with sobbing on the phone to my dear hubby. My poor husband did not spend the rest of the night calling me to check up and make sure I was okay since I was such an emotional mess.

My dog did not eat my half of a tuna sandwich off the kitchen counter as I carried Joey's sandwich out to him. He is much better trained then that and would never eat off our kitchen counters.

I did not watch my husband devour a bag of popcorn and large serving of nachos at the movies Saturday night and think to myself - well at least I don't have to cook dinner tonight. I would never think that two servings of junk food constituted dinner.

I definitely did not spend way too much money at the Dollar Tree once again to only follow it by buying half of Publix.  I'm not the type to so frivolous with money! I also would never buy new lightbulbs for the chandelier and then shatter one on the ground while replacing it. I am not that that clumsy.

I also have not recently discovered I have the laziest and most spoiled pets in the world. This is what they do all day, every day -
We would never swaddle our dog! He also does not eat food that costs $40 a bag and might be better quality than our meals!
or let the cat take over Devin's bed as his own! or split the tuna with him!

So is there anything you definitely didn't do this week? 

Menu Plan Monday

You can find out more about Menu Plan Monday at I'm an Organizing Junkie.
Once again - you may see some repeats since we don't always stick to our plan!

Monday - Hamburger Steak, Mashed Potatoes and Broccoli with cheese
Tuesday - Chicken Hawaiian, Yellow Rice, Spring Mix Salad with fruit
Wednesday - Flatbread Veggie Pizzas
Thursday - Steak Fajitas
Friday - Chicken Alfredo with Broccoli
Saturday - Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup
Sunday - We will hopefully be watching the Daytona 500 and eating concession food

Recipes -
Hamburger Steak - I use ground beef and grate onion into it and some diced peppers. I sprinkle with steak seasoning and some Worcestershire sauce. Then we fry them up and place them back into a pot with brown gravy mix and cream of mushroom. Let it simmer and viola - you are done!

Chicken Hawaiian - Season the chicken with brown sugar, soy sauce, orange juice and then place sliced pineapple on top and add the pineapple juice to the pan. Bake at 325 until the chicken is cooked through.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

How we met

I'm taking part in the Valentine's Extravaganza over at My Little Life.

I have to say I absolutely love the story of how I met my Joey. It actually took me two attempts to "meet" him.

It was October of 2006 and I was living in an apartment with a roommate. My ex and I had broken up in March and I was loving the single life. I had my own place, a great job, and was going out with my friends all the time. I was finally getting to enjoy life again. I also happened to be driving the crappiest car ever - an aqua green 1996 Ford Escort Station wagon that I had managed to smash up rear ending someone. My truck crapped out on me about two weeks after I moved into my apartment so I had to get what I could afford and that was it. In October my clutch decided to go out on the truck so I had it towed to a shop right around the corner. It was ready the next day so I walked over to pick it up. As I was waiting to do the paperwork I noticed the hottest mechanic I had ever seen in my life through the glass. I was sending my friends dirty messages about what I would do to him on the hood of my car. Lol. I then drove my car out of there as if it was my first time driving stick and vowed to never go there again since I could see him laughing the whole time. I was mortally embarrassed!

Fast forward to December of 06, my car had been overheating and the only way I could get it to stop was turn the AC on. I figured it was a thermostat or other quick fix and decided to bring my car in again. I drove up first thing in the morning and noticed hottie mechanic standing out front changing the sign with the manager. I parked and started to walk up. Well, I guess he noticed me because he was in that shop and behind the desk before I even made it in the front door. We made the usual talk and he said he would go check it out. After checking a million things he couldn't find what was wrong with it so they decided to let it run for awhile and see what happened. I'm pretty sure he got nothing accomplished at work that day since he spent the whole day flirting with me. It took them until 3 in the afternoon to figure out that the computer on the car was malfunctioning. I paid $500 for the car and the computer was $700 so I decided I would rather just fllip the AC on. Then he finally asked for my number, I teased him for not asking for it when he changed the clutch out on my car and informed him that I did not do relationships...

Three years later, I'm eating my words since we have been together ever since!

We be stylin...

This weekend wasn't quite as unproductive as last. Groceries have been bought, laundry is done, I dusted, swept, vacuumed and amazement of all amazement's - Joey is finally doing the maintenance on our cars. Only 3 months late!

We felt like doing something last night so our first attempt was to call around and see what all of our friends were up to...after that was a total bust I begrudgingly agreed to go see Avater with Joey. I was well prepared to not like the movie and suffer through 2 1/2 hours. I was appeasing myself with the promise of movie theater popcorn. We got there and shelled out the $30 for two 3-D tickets, a large drink and regular popcorn. Joey proceeded to devour all the popcorn and a large order of nachos with jalapenos. (This was the first time he had an appetite in weeks!) Honestly, I didn't care at all. The movie was amazing. I was riveted throughout the entire movie. The special effects, storyline, just everything was so well done. I was pleasently surprised to have enjoyed it so much. We decided to not be green and keep our stylin 3D glasses. I conducted an impromptu photoshoot when we got back home.
Joey says he's wearing these at work!
I think I look like Urkel here!
God bless our future children with parents like this!

All in all it has been a great weekend. We really enjoyed getting to spend some quality time together since we really didn't see each other much all week. I had a stomach bug at the beginning of the week and Joey has been out of town working on his Uncle's truck the rest of the week. We really can tell when we don't get a chance to reconnect and spend time with each other since that is when we start to nitpick and get crabby with each other. Probably not the best way to show you are missing each other but we both have difficult personalities to say the least!

This week should be calmer and I hear we may be going to see the BIG race next weekend! I have lived in the Daytona area since 1991 and I have never made it to a race so I am really hoping it comes through! 


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