Thursday, February 25, 2010

Everybody Needs Somebody

There are times where no matter how you look at it life just really sucks. We all know that marriage is a game of give and take. There will be times where you are contributing more and other times when your partner does. This tends too work most of the time. Unfortunately there are situations where a person had given all they can and its time to switch roles but neither person is in a position to be able to do that.

This past week has been one of those situations for Joey and myself. We are both stressed out, dealing with a million different emotions and problems and we both need what the other person can't give right now.
I was driving to work this morning and as fate would have it - this Keith Urban song came on -

So here you are now, nowhere to turn
It's just the same old yesterday
You made a promise to yourself
That you were never gonna be this way
And the only thing that you've ever know is to run
So you keep on drivin faster into the sun

But everybody needs somebody sometimes
Yeah, everybody needs somebody sometimes

This was almost enough to make me tear up and drive back home for a mental health day! We are going through things right now that require a lot of changes in both of us and personal growth. I tend to thrive in these situations but for Joey it is extremely difficult.

He really is the type that doesn't like to rely on anyone else, feels that he should be able to sort out through everything himself. He doesn't think he should have to ask for help. In his words  - "Only I can help myself."
I have to constantly reinforce the no man is an island concept to him but also remind him that the concept only works if you surround yourself with the right kind of people.

He has been more likely to take the "run" option over the "white flag" option. Right now running from the changes we need to make won't get us anywhere.

You don't have to find your own way out
You've got a voice let it be heard
Just when it feels you're on a dead-end road
There's always somewhere left to turn
So dont give up now you're so close to a brand new day
Yes you are
And if you just can bare to be alone then I'll stay

'Cause everybody needs somebody sometimes
Yeah, everybody needs somebody sometimes

The problem with deaing with issues simultaneoulsy is that feeling that you don't have your partner there to help and support you. You want them there to make it all better but they are trying just as desperately as you to grasp on to any semblance of normal that may be left. What ends up happening is you push each other further away in the process.

Its been very hard for me to look outside the situation and see what he is going through. I want him to see what I am going through. What I feel. What I need. Yes, I am being extremely selfish at the moment and I'm not proud of it. I know that this would be easier if we could support each other rather than getting snippy.
I know that mouthing off at the other person isn't helping either one of us and that one of us needs to stand up and say enough is enough - we need to support each other. We're just having a hard time figuring out which one of us that is going to be.

Well maybe I've been too caught up
To see what you've been going through
All that i can say is that I'm here now

And everybody needs somebody sometimes
You know they do

I guess the solution to our stressful situation right now is to realize we both need each other. That as difficult as it is to see through what you are dealing with and focusing on someone other than yourself you have to empathise. We aren't going to get anywhere by being wrapped up in ourselves. They say by helping others you help yourself.

So, I guess I'll pull on my big girl panties tonight and say "I'm here now. Let's do this - together."

Wish me luck and maybe send up a prayer too. I have a feeling we're going to need it and that there's a LONG, bumpy road ahead.

No comments:


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...