One of the few things that I want more than anything in the world is to start a family with my hubby. As I mentioned before we had some struggles here and there with conceiving and recently we decided to take a break while Joey sorted out a few medical issues he was having. I THOUGHT I was okay with waiting and that I could handle it until he gave me the go ahead. December passed and I didn't say anything about it. (That may have been because we were painting the house, scheduling inspections, Christmas shopping and driving to Mississippi and back - TWICE! I prefer to think it was an incredible display of understanding and compassion on my part though!) I also made it through all of January without pushing the subject....too much. The problem is I am not a patient person AT ALL. I hemmed and hawed and had a few crying fests. Luckily Joey was out working on his uncle's truck through most of these episodes so he managed to miss them.
I finally decided to bring the subject up with him. I explained that I didn't think we were going to just get pregnant on our own after he mentioned that he thought we would. (It's been 18 months honey and not even a hint of a BFP!) Not that I mind the trying but there are only so many dress rehearsals before the Big Show - right? I told him that even if we got pregnant he would have 9 months to get use to the idea. He didn't want to spend all the money with the RE again - and neither did I. (Insert segue here...)
Reproductive Endocrinologists can be your best friend if you are having trouble conceiving and you find the right practice. Unfortunately, I don't think our practice was the right one. They missed doing a few important blood tests, prescribed too low of a dosage of medication on a cycle I was paying out the nose for, had me trigger too early and tried to push me towards doing an IUI on only our second medicated cycle. I think some offices firmly try to steer their patients towards the IVF route and set other procedures up to have a smaller chance of succeeding so their patients will go with the procedure that makes the practice more money. You live and learn though and now we are wiser and will seek help elsewhere if we decide to go that route....(Back to our regularly scheduled programming..)
I told hubby that luckily my amazing Ob/Gyn can prescribe us Clomid to try again. A quick visit to the Doctor and this show could be on the road again! To my surprise Joey agreed that we should try again and see what happens. The following Monday I called the office and managed to get an appointment for the very next day. (Did I mention his office is amazing?) He was shocked to hear that the RE office only had me on 25mg of Clomid and immediately said we would try a higher dose and if that didn't work he would up it again. We are doing some cycle day 3 blood work to check my ovarian reserve and will do a progesterone check to make sure I ovulated. I should start taking my pills sometime next week and hopefully the higher dose will do the trick. I ordered my OPK's off eBay and am anxiously waiting for them to get here. The best news from the appointment though was finding out that we didn't need to go through the RE if we decide to do an IUI either. That could end up costing over $1,000 with all of the ultrasounds and other things that insurance doesn't cover. With my doctor it's about $200 out the door.
I don't think that all of this is a struggle I would wish upon anyone. It's extremely frustrating to not have control over your own body and to hear of others getting pregnant month after month. Sure you are happy for them but there is definitely some why me? Moments there. I have a friend who is just getting started in this whole process of learning how to overcome infertility and I wish I could give her advice that will make it easier but I can't because there just isn't any. You just keep hoping, trying, and praying that one day it will be your turn.
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