Thursday, January 28, 2010

Breathe in...and exhale

Let me start off by saying - I love what I do for a living and the company that I work for. My company donates half of our profits to charity. The day after the earthquakes in Haiti they donated $100,000 to the cause. I've worked here for over four years and have come to really appreciate the people I work with. I know I am blessed to have a job right now and be working for a company that is doing well.

That being said - I've been growing extremely frustrated with work as time goes on. I try not to publicly bash on my blog so I'm going to try to make this entry as diplomatic as possible. I think the root of my frustration is that I'm not really learning or growing anymore in my position at work. I love to be challenged, to learn new things and to take on more responsibilities. I'm one of those people that thrives on it but unfortunately that just isn't happening for me now. We had some changes in management and the current situation doesn't feel comfortable with giving up any control to us and that makes it difficult to grow in a position. My goal has always been to excel in anything that I do and to constantly advance in what I am doing. I can honestly say that I haven't learned anything new or been seriously challenged in almost two years now - it's enough to make me scream.

I have to say that if it weren't for Joey being able to listen to me and calm me down when I get home I would have gone crazy right now. The truth of the matter is that I am the breadwinner in our family. I bring home the bacon so its my job to just suck it up and keep plugging along. I know it and I want to provide for our family so I take a deep breath and hope for the best. Right now Joey needs time to focus on himself and get healthy. We've put everything else on hold so he can do that. There's no TTC, no schooling, no work stress. In return, I get back the man I fell in love with and I missed while he was sick. And God willing things will change in one way or another and the work situation will become something that makes me happy again.

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