Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Surprises at every turn

I know I have mentioned before how much I love this man -

He makes my heart sing, melts me with a touch.....and has the capability to drive me absolutely insane, reduce me to tears, or make me a crazy B***ch! Yep - you have to love married life.

We have been going through a lot lately. Most of it has been things I'm not going to share out here in the blogging world since I do feel that there are some things that not everyone needs to know. There have been occasions in the past few months where I have wondered whether I had the strength to make it through another day, whether things were ever going to change and most worriedly whether it was all worth it? I kept plodding along and believing though. Love had to get us through, right?

That's not to say it was all doom and gloom lately - we still had our fun moments -

Starting bonfires and grilling hot dogs

Torturing the dog with his leash

there just wasn't enough of them and there was always this undercurrent of what's going to go wrong next? So I put everything on hold for awhile - I wasn't going to stress myself with TTC, planning for the future or anything more momentous than what's for dinner. I just couldn't when I was walking on eggshells all the time. All I could do was just focus on breathing.

I hemmed and hawed, bitched and nagged but never stopped thinking it can get better - things will change. And suddenly they started to. It wasn't like the sky opened and life has made a 180 and its all peaches and cream now. Life just doesn't work that way. All the big issues are still there but baby step by baby step we are chiseling away at them. Some of the things we are chiseling away at are momentous and will possibly take as long to change as they did to create. But day by day and moment by moment we are making choices that will build up the strongest and most solid marriage you have ever come across.

We have learned to rely on each other and that neither person is going anywhere - we will support each other through anything that may come our way. No matter how scary or overwhelming it might seem. I am learning that life will continue to surprise you at every turn but that God puts you through some tough situations at times so you are better equipped to deal with them later. Some of the things I am dealing with now I faced before and I know the right answers and actions that go along with them now. God is pretty amazing at times, isn't he?

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