I have spent the better part of the past two months organizing a toddler busy bag swap.
I found a google document everyone could sign up on with links to projects.
I booked a pavilion for the actual swap at a park with a splash pad.
I made two projects myself, rather than just one.
I brought food for the swap along with my hubby to help with carrying things, cooking and child watching. He then ran out and bought a hose and a smaller inflatable splash pad since the big one was intimidating the younger kids.
All was required of everyone else was to make their projects and bring a dish for the pot luck picnic. They could contribute money towards the pavilion too if they had it.
I did all this while working full time, caring for a toddler and a 10 year old most of the time, managing my house and oh yeah, the past two weeks – I did it all alone, just me and Jellybean since Joey was working out of town.
There was 15 moms who signed up with a total of 23 kids between them. So we all agreed to do 23 bags. In fact a few of the mom’s initially said they wouldn’t participate because they had more than one child. Everyone piped up with “oh, its ok, its just a few more bags.”
So if everyone had shown up on Saturday they would have gone home with 17 activities since I along with another mom actually made two activities each. 2 moms didn’t make it so we ended up at 15 bags each.
Yesterday, I remembered why I try to stick with guy friends.
Girls are catty.
The complaining started once everyone got home with their bags.
Why did I only get 15 bags if I had to make 23?
That’s not fair.
If you had more than one kid you should have done an activity for each child you had.
I referred everyone back to the original conversations we had. The document that spelled it all out. The number of activities that were being done along with the number of children we had.
Still they claimed miscommunication. Personally, in my job we call that a failure on each person’s part to read the communication which they have been provided with.
Then someone said it was bad karma to not make extra bags.
My thought? It’s bad karma to expect a mom of 4 to make 92 bags. I guarantee she won’t have the time or money to do it and thus wouldn’t be able to participate. I think it was good karma on everyone else’s part to make the extra bags and allow her to be a part of it to. We all made 23 bags. Everyone put the same amount of work in. Are we all really so materialistic that we are begrudging someone the fact that they have more kids so they need more bags?
I enjoyed myself. I spent more time, money and energy on this event than anyone else. I would gladly do it all again. I never felt bad that I was making 46 bags and only getting back 15. Instead I was excited that all these kids would get to try some cool new activities.
Hearing all these ladies griping and complaining really soured me on some of them. I expected better of them and I’m disappointed in them.
So I’m taking a breather from them. Because I don’t like the negativity and if that’s how they work then No, I don’t want to be a part of that group. I’d rather be a involved with people who give without expecting anything in return because that to me is what friendship is about.
Guys do a much better job at that if you ask me. Joey’s friends have shown up to move furniture, pressure wash a house or paint and were happy to just get a meal and a six pack out of it. There’s never any “I did more than you” discussions.
Maybe I just need to go back to only socializing with guys. It was much easier.
Because as much as we say guys never grow up…I totally felt like I was back in high school listening to these women go back and forth.
So, some of these people, I’m weeding out of my group of friends, because I don’t need people like that around me or my kid. Jellybean will grow up to appreciate what he has and not to wonder why so and so has more.
I miss just having guy friends. Who didn’t care that I was going out in my pj’s or that I was mooching off of them that night for free beer. Guys are great at give and take.
Are just plain crazy!