The Misadventures of Buffoon

A long, long time ago in a land far far away I introduced you to "The Misadventures of Baboon and Buffoon".

It was supposed to be a series but then I went and had Jellybean two days later and my blogging turned into a sporadic event where I posted pictures of Jellybean and tried to pass it off as writing.

What you think I haven't noticed that? Good thing the kid is so cute.

Now though - I just couldn't resist going back to it.

Baboon has actually been pretty good lately and he is laid up with some kidney stones so we'll go easy on him. Buffoon though, he has continued his antics.

Now since this is purely fictional I of course do not have any pictures but if I had to imagine Buffoon may look something like this -

and he may be employed as a plumber again after a period of unemployment.

While unemployed and looking for jobs he may have gone ahead and racked up 4 tickets.

In the time the Countess and Buffoon have been together he has gotten 15 or so tickets. The Countess - 0.

The Countess cries a little every time she has to make a car insurance payment.

So anyhow, the Buffoon was lucky enough to get two tickets dismissed, an extension on one and had another that needed to be paid by end of day yesterday. That was a must so he could elect traffic school and not raise the car insurance again.

The Countess told him this over and over again.

Reminded him he needed to leave work early and stop by her work to get the money to pay the ticket.

Called him on Monday at work and told him again.

He said "I thought I was just getting an extension."

"No - you HAVE to pay the ticket today and pick traffic school."

"Oh -okay"

Called again to make sure he was on his way. Said make sure you call me when you're getting close so I can bring you my card.

"ok"

3:30 - No Buffoon and the Clerk of Court closes in an hour.

Ring...ring... "Where are you?"

"I'm crossing over Kepler now." (A road in the Countess' town. 30 minutes away meaning he didn't stop by The Countess' work.)

"WHAT? You were supposed to come get the card so you could pay the ticket."

"I thought I was getting an extension."

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH... How many times did I go over this with you today?"

So then the Countess had to call the bank, transfer money into Buffoon's account (which is always negative) and then tell him again he had to pay the ticket and pick traffic school.

Buffoon swears she never told him he was paying the ticket.

The Countess swears he doesn't listen AT ALL.

The Countess thinks its amazing she hasn't picked up a drinking habit yet.

And yes - Buffoon has earned his name honestly.

The Misadventures of Baboon and Buffoon

A new day and a new series...even though I have totally been slacking on "Conversations with Jellybean." I promise you JB will be back this Friday and he has PLENTY to say! (PS - Anyone know how to remove toe jam from your ribs?)

So now our new series - "The Misadventures of Baboon and Buffoon" All of this is of course hypothetical - I mean I would never draw from real life to post on my blog and all names have been changed to protect the guilty innocent.

So a little background to this work of non-fiction er complete fiction I mean! Let's "pretend" that there are these two sisters who happen to be very similar, we'll call them Duchess and Countess. By some odd twist of fate these two sisters managed to marry men who are also very similar. Duchess married Baboon and Countess married Buffoon. When placing B&B in a room together you can physically feel the IQ drop as they ponder what trouble they can get into but even apart their antics are amusing and scarily parallel each other! This series will take you through their misadventures (all "pretend" I assure you!) and what their poor wives have to put up with.

One day Duchess and Countess were talking. Duchess was out of town for work and she seemed to be in some distress as she called up Countess.

She said to Countess immediately upon picking up - "Remind me to never ever leave a credit card in case of emergencies no matter how small the credit limit is. Thank you."

Countess laughed at Duchess and said, "Oh I knew that already! I hide my wallet even when at home!"

"Well," Duchess responded, "So did I but I don't feel right leaving my babes at home without emergency funds in case something happens (like a tire needing to be replaced) but 7-11 & Dominos (just to name a few) are not emergency transactions in my book. Thank goodness for account alerts!"

Countess replied, "Remind me to show you Buffoon's list from before he was taken off the accounts. Sounds quite similar. With no transactions from me!"

"I totally understand prenups now but what I want is a during nup!" said Duchess.

"I hear ya! Can we through in interest payments?" asked Countess.

Duchess laughed...then sighed. "I would like to be compensated for the mental insanity caused by trying to figure out how if Baboon earns say $100 this week, he spent $200 getting there."

"Oh Duchess! I would also like compensation for not killing said spouse when receiving said cc statements that include 25263 charges at 7-11 for less than $5. That should also be rewarded!" answered back Countess.

Then Duchess had a wonderful idea - " I think I'm going to pack Baboon a lunchbox & send him off to work on a fricken bicycle!"

"Hmm.." pondered Countess, "I wonder how Buffoon feels about 80 miles per day on a bicycle."

"It will keep him in shape," offered Duchess.

"And he would quit smoking after the first day so he'd be saving even more money there!" theorized Countess.

"See - it’s a win win all the way around!"

And with that Duchess and Countess hung up and waited to see what Baboon and Buffoon would get into next.