Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Misadventures of Baboon and Buffoon

A new day and a new series...even though I have totally been slacking on "Conversations with Jellybean." I promise you JB will be back this Friday and he has PLENTY to say! (PS - Anyone know how to remove toe jam from your ribs?)

So now our new series - "The Misadventures of Baboon and Buffoon" All of this is of course hypothetical - I mean I would never draw from real life to post on my blog and all names have been changed to protect the guilty innocent.

So a little background to this work of non-fiction er complete fiction I mean! Let's "pretend" that there are these two sisters who happen to be very similar, we'll call them Duchess and Countess. By some odd twist of fate these two sisters managed to marry men who are also very similar. Duchess married Baboon and Countess married Buffoon. When placing B&B in a room together you can physically feel the IQ drop as they ponder what trouble they can get into but even apart their antics are amusing and scarily parallel each other! This series will take you through their misadventures (all "pretend" I assure you!) and what their poor wives have to put up with.

One day Duchess and Countess were talking. Duchess was out of town for work and she seemed to be in some distress as she called up Countess.

She said to Countess immediately upon picking up - "Remind me to never ever leave a credit card in case of emergencies no matter how small the credit limit is. Thank you."

Countess laughed at Duchess and said, "Oh I knew that already! I hide my wallet even when at home!"

"Well," Duchess responded, "So did I but I don't feel right leaving my babes at home without emergency funds in case something happens (like a tire needing to be replaced) but 7-11 & Dominos (just to name a few) are not emergency transactions in my book. Thank goodness for account alerts!"

Countess replied, "Remind me to show you Buffoon's list from before he was taken off the accounts. Sounds quite similar. With no transactions from me!"

"I totally understand prenups now but what I want is a during nup!" said Duchess.

"I hear ya! Can we through in interest payments?" asked Countess.

Duchess laughed...then sighed. "I would like to be compensated for the mental insanity caused by trying to figure out how if Baboon earns say $100 this week, he spent $200 getting there."

"Oh Duchess! I would also like compensation for not killing said spouse when receiving said cc statements that include 25263 charges at 7-11 for less than $5. That should also be rewarded!" answered back Countess.

Then Duchess had a wonderful idea - " I think I'm going to pack Baboon a lunchbox & send him off to work on a fricken bicycle!"

"Hmm.." pondered Countess, "I wonder how Buffoon feels about 80 miles per day on a bicycle."

"It will keep him in shape," offered Duchess.

"And he would quit smoking after the first day so he'd be saving even more money there!" theorized Countess.

"See - it’s a win win all the way around!"

And with that Duchess and Countess hung up and waited to see what Baboon and Buffoon would get into next.


Shell said...


Sara said...

This was hilarious. And once again, scarily familiar....

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Go for it!! Uh, I am the bafoon in my household, how sad am I!?

MommaAmma said...

Oh Countess! There's nothing better than having a sister that feels your pain! Thanks for the laugh. You should write children's books on the side.

As far as toe jam in the ribs: fast forward 5 years and Mr. Jellybean wants to sleep with you. You will awaken to a very familiar feeling of toes in ribs. But this time you can just push his feet back down for relief.


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