I’m going to put it out there and talk about something that everyone seems afraid to mention about life after baby. It may not be true for all but after talking to quite a few ladies it seems prevalent. Everyone just seems afraid to bring it up.
Not so for me.
It might have to do with breast feeding or changing priorities but one of the biggest changes in life after Jellybean has been our sex life.
Or should I say lack thereof.
Since Jellybean my sex drive is nonexistent.
The reasons are many.
I’m sleep deprived. I’m still getting use to my different body shape. I’m sleep deprived. It’s weird getting freaky with baby in the room. I’m sleep deprived. I have no lubrication at all so it hurts.
And basically I have no desire.
I still love my hubby – make no doubt- but sex is not on my list of things I want. I want a hot meal. An occasional long shower. The ability to read a book. A chance to go grocery shopping ALONE.
SEX? Not so much.
I know we need to do it and we have. Maybe 5 times in the past 4 months. I thought I was weird but apparently, I’m not alone.
That new baby? He or she TAKES OVER everything to do with your life. If Jellybean is in the middle of one of his frequent growth spurts he will eat every 1- 2 hours around the clock. That means I sleep about 4 hours on average.
It is impossible to look, feel or think sexy then. Which I rarely do now anyway since I don’t have time to spend on myself.
I have stopped being a priority to myself. Which needs to change. I hate how all my clothing looks and feels on me. My last hair cut was in February. I don’t know where any of my makeup or jewelry has gone to. Somewhere along the way I lost the woman I was for the mommy I am. I don’t think I can BE sexy again until I make time for me. As much as I hate to leave Jellybean when I don’t have to – its time. So once our home projects are finished and I can line up a babysitter. I am going to go spend a day on myself. I will go to my sister’s house so that I can run back and feed Jellybean and play with him but I will take the time for hair, makeup, getting my nails done, a massage and buying clothing that makes me feel good. I am going to be a 28 year old HOT mom and I WON’T feel guilty about it.
Because gosh darn it, I must have liked sex in order to make a baby and I kind of sort of want to like it again!
This post is linked up with Shell as part of Pour Your Heart Out Wednesdays.