Do you ever have those little things that take you back?
Totally unexpected moments that transport you back in time?
I had one of those this morning. I was flipping through the radio stations on my way to work while Jellybean sucked away on his fingers in the back seat trying to catch a few precious more moments of sleep.
Then it happened. A song came on and I was back in 1998. 15 years old and in New Jersey - at the movies with my first boyfriend. My first love. My first....everything. This was the guy I knew I was going to marry. I mean we were destined to be together.
Things ended really badly between us. Wait no - they somehow got really bad AFTER we had been broken up for awhile. I think a huge part of it was a maturity thing. Or lack there of. He pretty much felt I had ruined his life. I was told this a year after we broke up and while we were living over 1,000 miles apart. I never really gave much weight to that statement. I think he was pissed at his parents for moving him away from everything he had ever known in the middle of high school and dropping him in the middle of a place where he was a giant fish out of water. He needed someone to be mad at and it was me.
I'm okay with that. (That may be becuase he is still single and had had at least 3 relationships in the past year. Thank you Facebook!)
My memories with him though - God I love them.
So pure. So innocent, So happy.
Sometimes its really nice to feel 15 again for a moment. To have those butterflies when someone goes in for that first kiss. Holding hands while walking through a fair together. Feeling so grown up when you go out to dinner together.
Every time I make my coffee in the morning I remember him saying you had to put the sugar in before the cream. Naturally that was because you needed the hot coffee to dissolve the sugar and the creamer would mess that up. He also exposed me to quite a few other firsts. Getting tipsy off Blackberry Brandy, then Wild Turkey once I got better at drinking. Smoking cigarrettes...amongst other things. Skipping school.
I am so many things now. A wife, a mom, a career woman. Life is stressful. We're broke.
Unhappy with work.
Although happier in our marriage then we've been in a long while. All these things tend to add up and make you forget about happy little memories. That life can be carefree at times.
Thank goodness for those moments that take you back. What are some of your moments?
This post is linked up with Shell as part of Pour Your Heart Out Wednesdays.