Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Stronger Together

One of my main objectives when I started this blog was to have a chronicle of what married life is really like. The ups, downs, ins and outs of it. Marriage isn’t always glamorous – it has its pitfalls at times and there are moments that make you want to scream. (I usually do when those hit. I’m not what you would call subdued.)

The thing is though every marriage experiences a certain amount of conflict. You learn to pick and choose your battles – Joey hasn’t washed dishes once since we bought our house. I threaten him with the job on occasion but I would never fight about it in reality. I’m more interested in making sure he finishes painting the bathroom before everyone invades for Thanksgiving. He is not going to fight with me over sweet tea not being made but asking him to go to the grocery store when he doesn’t feel like it has caused small wars on occasions. These conflicts I am okay with – they are just the normal, everyday part of joining two independent lives together.

What I do take issue with though is when outside people expressly try to create conflict in your marriage. I am old enough to understand that this mainly occurs when those individuals are unhappy with their own lives and relationships and are jealous of what you have but that doesn’t make it easier at the time. One of the main reasons it bothers me is because these arguments pop up out of nowhere. It’s like stepping on a landmine. You are going along swimmingly acting all lovey dovey and suddenly someone gets a phone call where they are fed a line of cow manure and its time to cue “Eye of the Tiger” and put your gloves on.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Round One is on!

These arguments are usually more intense because they are packed full of lies and misinformation caused by the outside force. We yell, I cry and finally one of us has the sense to go – “Wait! Are we going to let someone else tear us apart like this?” That’s usually all we need – we refocus, get upset with the drama queen or king that goaded us into an argument and reassess. We are stronger together and should feel honored that someone is that jealous of our relationship that they feel the need to create discord between us. We are on to those naysayers now though – try us again. We are not going to let someone else bring conflict into our marriage – we are committed to our marriage and each other and that is why people get married because they are confident enough in their love to make that ultimate commitment under God’s eyes. Anyone who takes issue with that will have to goad someone else next time – we’ve written you off already on our book as someone who doesn’t understand the power of marriage.

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