Baby Jellybean is here

Born 12/30/2010 at 6:09pm via emergency C-section. I had no amniotic fluids and he was severe IUGR. He's 3 lbs 2 oz 15 1/2 inches long with a very healthy set of lungs! He has been transferred to another hospital for their NICU so I am hoping to be discharged today. He has gained 6 grams so far and is breathing room air on his own. Full birth story eventually!

The Misadventures of Baboon and Buffoon

A new day and a new series...even though I have totally been slacking on "Conversations with Jellybean." I promise you JB will be back this Friday and he has PLENTY to say! (PS - Anyone know how to remove toe jam from your ribs?)

So now our new series - "The Misadventures of Baboon and Buffoon" All of this is of course hypothetical - I mean I would never draw from real life to post on my blog and all names have been changed to protect the guilty innocent.

So a little background to this work of non-fiction er complete fiction I mean! Let's "pretend" that there are these two sisters who happen to be very similar, we'll call them Duchess and Countess. By some odd twist of fate these two sisters managed to marry men who are also very similar. Duchess married Baboon and Countess married Buffoon. When placing B&B in a room together you can physically feel the IQ drop as they ponder what trouble they can get into but even apart their antics are amusing and scarily parallel each other! This series will take you through their misadventures (all "pretend" I assure you!) and what their poor wives have to put up with.

One day Duchess and Countess were talking. Duchess was out of town for work and she seemed to be in some distress as she called up Countess.

She said to Countess immediately upon picking up - "Remind me to never ever leave a credit card in case of emergencies no matter how small the credit limit is. Thank you."

Countess laughed at Duchess and said, "Oh I knew that already! I hide my wallet even when at home!"

"Well," Duchess responded, "So did I but I don't feel right leaving my babes at home without emergency funds in case something happens (like a tire needing to be replaced) but 7-11 & Dominos (just to name a few) are not emergency transactions in my book. Thank goodness for account alerts!"

Countess replied, "Remind me to show you Buffoon's list from before he was taken off the accounts. Sounds quite similar. With no transactions from me!"

"I totally understand prenups now but what I want is a during nup!" said Duchess.

"I hear ya! Can we through in interest payments?" asked Countess.

Duchess laughed...then sighed. "I would like to be compensated for the mental insanity caused by trying to figure out how if Baboon earns say $100 this week, he spent $200 getting there."

"Oh Duchess! I would also like compensation for not killing said spouse when receiving said cc statements that include 25263 charges at 7-11 for less than $5. That should also be rewarded!" answered back Countess.

Then Duchess had a wonderful idea - " I think I'm going to pack Baboon a lunchbox & send him off to work on a fricken bicycle!"

"Hmm.." pondered Countess, "I wonder how Buffoon feels about 80 miles per day on a bicycle."

"It will keep him in shape," offered Duchess.

"And he would quit smoking after the first day so he'd be saving even more money there!" theorized Countess.

"See - it’s a win win all the way around!"

And with that Duchess and Countess hung up and waited to see what Baboon and Buffoon would get into next.

EE O EE O EE O

No doubt about it. I'm in a shitty mood today. Not even crappy - I passed that awhile ago and went straight to shitty as in Do Not Pass Go, Do not collect $200. Just make a bee line right to shitty.

I could gripe and vent and complain about everything that is going wrong here today but - I don't think that will make me feel any better. I'm not feeling well either which is only adding to it. I'm burnt out, overloaded, overworked and just done.

So to brighten your day and mine - this is my family's new favorite Christmas song.

Every time I walked into a room over the holidays I would hear "EE-O-EE-O-EE-O"

Yes, my child is being tortured before he is even here yet. I may have walked him straight into that one. The funny thing is our church in Brooklyn was St Dominick's. So when Joey and I decided on Dominik as a name it seemed destined to be.

I mentioned that Jellybean had the hiccups Friday morning and it was the cutest thing - my 11 year old niece responded with that wasn't the hiccups - he was going EE-O-EE-O-EE-O.Yep - the sarcasm starts early around here.

I have a feeling he will be getting one of these at some point from the fam - 

Poor kid - my sister suggested changing names. I suggested I may just change families instead!

Ho Ho Ho and all that jazz!

This is my weak and pitiful attempt at giving all of you a “Real” blog post. Today I am 34 weeks pregnant. Which technically means that Jellybean has 6 weeks to go. I am in fierce contract negotiations for 3 weeks as an eviction date though. Jellybean, I’m pretty sure, has been placing a bowling ball against my pubic bone every night. Anytime I try to run errands that's what it feels like is pressing against me. Yea – good times.

So Christmas is here again. I promised you all sorts of things this week and sadly. They didn’t happen. Conversations with Jellybean – didn’t happen. Me reading other blogs – NOPE, no time. This week I busted my ass at work since I’m trying to get everything in order in case Jellybean does show up early. Usually I would sneak a blog post in during lunch or something at least. I took my dad to get an echo done which translated to about 5 hours of driving for me on Tuesday. Jellybean’s room is only waiting on the bookcase to be put together but he could move in there today if he wanted to. There are clothes to put away in the drawers and other little things but my playpen should be waiting for me when I get home today and we are essentially ready. Jellybean is also rearranging organs on my right side as I write this so I think he’s excited! :)

We had our maternity shoot a few weeks ago and I was lucky enough to get some sneak peeks from it that I have been meaning to share. So without further ado here they are.

Otherwise I’m really just trying to hang in there. Joey and I won’t be getting to spend Christmas together. He is leaving tomorrow to go get his son in Mississippi and my doctor about laughed me out of his office when I asked if I could do the trip. 20 hours in a car over 3 days I guess is a no no when this pregnant but hey I had to ask! I am so glad to be spending Christmas with my family though. With everything we have been through this year I just feel so blessed that I can gather around a table with all of them. I know just how precious life is between almost losing my dad this year and then this new little guy that is about to join us all – God drove the point home. I also now realize that my parents won’t be around forever which I always took for granted that they would be. Every moment that I spend with them is now treasured – even if I am pregnant, hormonal and irritated. Because one day – I’ll be wishing they were there to annoy me.

This year Christmas wasn’t about the presents at all. My presents came in that positive pregnancy test, my dad getting his surgery, having two good jobs, a roof over our head and plenty of family to share it with. It is all the support I’ve gotten in the blogging community and the prayers when we needed them. Its waking up every day and having so much to look forward to.

I honestly hope all of you have the best holiday ever. Even when your family is driving you crazy and you are thinking of telling your mother in law just where she can shove that damn turkey – because at least that family is there to spend time with. Sunday I plan on some quality time with my laptop as I will be home alone waiting on Joey and Devin to make it back so we can open our presents. I will catch up with all of you then!

I can't keep up!

I am so pitifully behind on everything blog related right now its not even funny. For those women that feel so super productive in the third trimester and can get everything under the sun finished and more - I hate you. No really, I do. I'm happy when I manage to brush my teeth before I leave for work.

I can't remember the last blog I commented on and I haven't even checked my bloggy email in days. I have set up all of the furniture except the bookcase in Jellybean's room. Joey needs to paint the bookcase and then we can be finished in there. I have sterilized bottles and pacifiers. The baby tub is now in the extra bathroom and I have made a small dent in my Christmas shopping.

I've also started eating meals at 4 or 5 am thanks to Jellybean's latest growth spurt. This means I need a nap by 3pm. I'm happy that I can somewhat keep the house in order and cook 2 or 3 meals a week. I have stopped trying to be SUPERWOMAN and realize that I am in fact 8.5 months pregnant and can't do it all anymore. So blogging suffers. Sorry!

I owe all of you blog comments, a Conversation with Jellybean and so much more. Hopefully this week. If not, you'll catch me in bed with the cat and the dog napping!

PYHO - Bigger than myself

I've been having a very hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year. With all the craziness of getting things ready for Jellybean's arrival and being broke - I was feeling more "Bah Humbug!" than "Ho! Ho! Ho!". I honestly wasn't sure if anything was going to turn my mood around and really get me inspired. I mean my house is decorated, the tree was up and I still felt nothing.

I had purchased one present. Yea....not looking promising!

Then I was listening to the radio on my way into work and I heard them talking about the critical shortage Toys For Tots had in our area. They had 27,000 children registered and try to give three toys to each child. Their warehouse currently only had 32,000 toys in it. That's clearly not enough toys. This broke my heart since I could never imagine Jellybean only getting one toy at Christmas. Not with our families. All of us adults would give up breathing and eating before we denied our kids Christmas.

Then I found my Christmas spirit and something which was bigger than me. One of the great things about my company in that we donate 50% of our profits to women's and children's charities. The owners don't collect any money from our company and the only reason they started our company is to support the foundation. Every year at Christmas rather than buy the owners a present the employees try to do something charitable in their name. We bought farm animals one year, last year we donated to Fisher House, and this year I spearheaded our collection for Toys for Tots!

The instant I wrote the email asking everyone at work to contribute I felt my Christmas Cheer building up. When I went to the store to purchase a gift that meter shot up a little bit. Now as people come by my office and drop off gifts or money - that meter may just go into overload.

So what changed?

Well - I still only have one gift purchased and plan on cramming in a crap load of Christmas shopping and finishing Jellybean's room into this weekend but now I'm actually excited. Through this one simple little act - the holiday stopped being about everything I still needed to get done. It went back to the true meaning - doing something for others. And while it started with Toys for Tots that spirit is now leaking into shopping for my family. I can actually get excited about sharing the gifts and season with them. The excitement of knowing that next Christmas there will be a very excited Jellybean tearing into gifts. And knowing that because of a simple email there will be some very happy children on Christmas morning!

If you are feeling more like Scrooge than Claus - I hope you too can find your spirit by looking outside yourself. Its amazing what a little perspective can do!


Shell over at Things I Can't Say hosts - Pour Your Heart Out. It is a place to just get whatever is weighing on your heart out. Please be kind to all of the posters.

PINT - I swear he asked me to!

 

Conversations with Jellybean - Volume 13

Conversations with Jellybean

Jellybean: Hey Mom, What's going on out there?

Me: Well JB, we're having a little party for you.

Jellybean: Not to be rude, Mom, but wouldn't it make more sense to have a party when I'm actually here?

Me: Well yes, but this party is to "shower" you with gifts for when you do get here so Mommy and Daddy don't end up in the poor house trying to buy it all.

Jellybean: Oh that makes sense. Are there any games?

Me: Of course! Here's some of our guests sniffing and tasting dirty diapers - they had to figure out what kind of chocolate was in there!

Jellybean: Eww Mom! That is gross! (And so funny!)

Me: Daddy's friend really got into it too!

Jellybean: Bet you guys won't be doing that with my diapers!

Me: You've got that right kiddo!

Jellybean: So what kind of stuff did we get?

Me: Oh man buddy, I can't even list it all. How bout we look at some pictures instead?

Jellybean: You're in charge Mom!

How far along are you? 32 weeks

Total weight gain/loss? +26 or 27 lbs

Rings - on or off? On

How are you feeling generally? Like crap - exhausted, moody, uncomfortable, my heartburn is brutal too

How are you sleeping? I'm not. I'm happy when I snag a few hours here and there.

Any stretch marks? No

Weekly BOOO HOOO? DH was being an idiot/a hole this week and I don't have the patience for him. We mutually ignored each other a few nights!

Weekly WHOO HOOO? Had our maternity shoot on Saturday - now the agonizing wait for pictures! Then my work baby shower Wednesday.

Is your belly itchy/hurting/ripping feeling? Yes, yes, and yes!

Did you get the baby a xmas/holiday present? No - I've only bought one present so far. I'm seriously slacking.
 

Brain Mush

I'm pretty sure if someone did a Cat scan on my head right now they would find this -

 Image via Google Imageswhere my brain used to be.

I'm not even sure I miss being able to think or function like a normal person anymore though. I have pretty much become ambivalent about everything - when I'm not pissed off or crying. Yup three emotions for me now - whatever, bitch or crybaby.

Images via Google ImagesIts a fun ride. As of today I have 8 weeks to go. My family and friends may desert me by the end.

I no longer sleep. I take catnaps. As soon as I find a comfortable position my back cramps up and I have to switch positions. Then Jellybean has a rave in my stomach and keeps me up. So my heartburn flares up and I get nauseous. Then I have to pee. Then I'm hungry and wide awake at 2:30 am - (PS people shpuld tweet and facebook more at that time - I'm bored and expect entertainment.)

After that I finally pass out from sheer exhaustion and the hubby's alarm goes off at 4:45am and 5:00am and 5:15am. My 1 and a half hours of sleep are really sufficient at this point, right?

I get out of bed and realize the dog had stomach issues last night. In three different places. The liquid kind. He had already punished himself and was sleeping in his crate with the door open. Unfortunately without opposable thumbs he is not capable of cleaning up after himself too. Jellybean's diapers will be a piece of cake for me after that. (Now you know why cloth diapers don't scare me at all. After 4 years with this dog I can handle any baby blowout!)

I'm now at work and hoping to stay awake. Its not looking good.

So how was your night, sunshine? :)

PINT - Crunchy Mommy?

First off - the baby shower was fabulous! I'll do a post later this week. We spent all day Sunday "nesting" - and we still have so much to do! Hubby has been sick as a dog since then so I haven't had time to blog or comment - I've been tending to him and indulging in movies on the couch with a fire roaring away in the fireplace. I'm also really wiped most evenings now and pretty much crash after dinner and dishes so I'm a crap blogger until Jellybean comes!



 

Conversations with Jellybean - Volume 12

Conversations with Jellybean

Jellybean: Mooooooom!

  Me: You bellowed, Jellybean?

Jellybean: That thing is chasing me again. I thought we agreed NO MORE PICTURES!

Me: No Jellybean - you demanded and I didn't listen. Besides, with the heartburn I've been having I had to make sure you didn't look like Chewbacca!

Jellybean: Who the heck is Chewbacca?

Me: Well - he looks like this and an Old Wives Tale says bad heartburn means a hairy baby!

Jellybean: Whew! He's ugly! I don't look like that, right Mom? 

Me: No Jellybean - you still look like our cute little man. You could get your hands out of your face once in awhile though!

   

Jellybean: Oh man! I was worried there! I'm a pretty cute kid though!

Me: Yeah, you're cute except....

Jellybean: What? What's wrong with me? It's dark in here I can't see myself. Tell me!!

Me: Well you do still have those Frodo Feet!

Jellybean: You are so mean, Mom! I'm never talking to you again!

 

How far along? 31 weeks. Crap can't believe we have single digit weeks left! 

Baby's size? He's measuring small. About 10 days behind at 3 lbs. Joey and I are both little though and small babies run in our families so I'm not concerned. I'd rather not have a 9 or 10 lber quite honestly!

Weight Gain? Still hanging at 25 lbs.

Maternity clothes? Actually need to go get some more leggings and jeggings today which I can buy from the normal sizes since they fit under the belly.

Stretch marks? Nope. Fingers crossed!

Belly button in or out? Its applying for its own zip code now!

Sleep? Some jackass called hubby's phone at 1am last night. I was then up for the next two hours uncomfortable and with raging heartburn. Thanks Ahole!

Foods I am loving? I was on a soup and salad kick this week. Couldn't get enough of it

Foods I am hating? Greasy food and lots of drinks give me heartburn - including water!

Best moment this week? Seeing my little man again. I can't wait until he's here!

Movement? He's grooving away as I type - today was a super active day for him.
 
Symptoms? Heartburn, heartburn, wait did I mention heartburn? Fatigue, leg cramps..

Gender? All boy.

What I miss? My skinny clothes! :)

What I'm looking forward to? Baby shower tomorrow!

Weekly Wisdom: Tale that nap when you need it.

Milestone: Took my 3 hour GTT and hoping I passed it.

Emotions: I'm a hormonal mess. Yes, I admit it.