This time around -

Where's the love
It's not enough
It makes the world go 'round and 'round and...

(100 teenybopper points if you know what song that’s from!)

I am tentatively hopeful.

I originally had little to no faith in rehab making a difference this time around in my husband.

I’d been through it too many times before with him when he would say he was going to change – and didn’t.

This time though?

Something really is different.

I’m starting to see the man, husband and father that he is capable of being.

And I like it.

A lot.

I no longer feel like I’m in this by myself.

For the first time in our relationship I have a partner. Its nice.

This guy if he continues down the course – he’s a keeper.

Parenting has become a joint activity. We both change diapers, take care of Jellybean and deal with toddler meltdowns. There isn’t fighting over giving baths, division of labor or putting him to bed. Three days out of the week its still almost a solo gig for me because of the rehab sessions but he makes up for it the rest of the week. If Jellybean is fighting a nap Daddy will now go and lay down with him until he falls asleep. I actually get to shower and do my hair. Although I usually end up washing dishes instead.

We do chores and try to stay on top of things. I don’t have to badger him to get it done either.

This past week I have been fighting a sinus infection that has really taken it out of me. He gets that. Tonight I’ve been told to take it easy when I get home. He has to skip his group session to replace a part on his truck but after that he’s going to take care of Jellybean. He thinks I need a break and to go to bed early.

WHO IS THIS GUY?

Sunday night the light bulbs that have been burned out in the living room for three months got replaced.

Yesterday the trash cans were pulled out to the curb ready for pick up today.

Saturday morning he swept and mopped.

He calls when he’s running late. Gets home when he says he will.

He is affectionate, loving and caring.

Its not all rainbows, unicorns and fairy dust. We still fight. When Jellybean is refusing to nap, won’t eat anything other than cookies and is whining  - we snap at each other.

But that is NORMAL.

For the first time in five years. I’m hopeful.

I actually believe in change this time.

I’m hoping he doesn’t prove me wrong.