Game. Set. Match.

I see it everywhere.

 

On Facebook.

 

Blogs.

 

Twitter.

 

In real life.

 

My child sleeps twelve hours every night. He takes 3 hour naps exactly on schedule. Eats all of his vegetable. Is proficient in 12 sports, three languages and can quote Shakespeare at 3.

 

I have my own organic garden. I breastfed for four years. Cook gourmet meals every night. Never lose my temper. My marriage is perfect. As is my house. We have a generous savings account and donate to starving children in Africa. While wearing high heels.

 

I call Bullshit.

 

And I’m stepping out of the “MOMPETITION”

 

You want the truth?

 

My house looks like a disaster right now. I didn’t want to clean it last night so I took Jellybean to the park instead. My kitchen is covered in dirty dishes. There’s a load of clothes in the washer that I’ve washed three times now because I can’t remember to put them in the dryer.

 

There are toys everywhere in my home.

 

My sliding glass door constantly has fingerprints on it.

 

I never got around to folding laundry last week so we’ve been wearing it out of the baskets.

 

We had McDonald’s for dinner last night and I fed Jellybean Chef Boyardee out of a can a few nights before that.

 

My child like to run around the house naked while wearing a beach hat.

 

His favorite body part to point out is his pee pee.

 

This morning my Facebook status was about wanting to wear my jammies to work.

 

I don’t have a savings account. I get cranky and moody as often as my toddler. The only starving child I feed is my own. My marriage has good times and bad.

 

We aren’t perfect. We NEVER will be. I don’t feel a need to compete with everyone else.

 

I’m proud of my husband, my child, my family and my home.

 

So for all you mompetitors – have fun! While you’re striving for perfection I’m going to hang out here. Where we ignore chores to go build sandcastles and my husband still loves me if I order a pizza for dinner or forget to wash his socks.