This makes childbirth classes fun and interesting (No, not really but we try!)
For example –
I may have suggested to Joey that he whip out a bag of popcorn during the video portion of the class that showed the actual childbirth. He one upped me by offering to pass out beer to all the guys too. We then giggled through the first portion of class.
Joey likes to speculate on which of the guys are actually gay and just using the ladies as a cover. Along with who may or may not be a drug dealer.
We are convinced one couple has the girl on uppers while the guy is on downers.
I may have spotted Joey cleaning his nails with a pocketknife during one portion of class. He may have also been caught napping once or twice.
We decided childbirth will be NO BIG DEAL since I am already psychotic and neurotic so he will probably be unfazed by anything I may do or say then. Or maybe we’ll just save that 6 pack of beer for then…
So given all that you would think that I am just happy and calm regarding the whole squeezing a watermelon out of something the size of a keyhole thing. And I was. Until they decided to share such great childbirth tidbits like this with me –
Things that can make labor longer or more difficult –
Average labor for a first time mom is 12-18 hours!!! EEEKKK!
Shorter in height
(All 5’ of me – check)
Then we can go into things that might cause me pain – like the herniated disc in my back.
Or the fact that the baby is going to regress back up with each push.
Or when she said THEY WANT US TO STOP PUSHING AFTER THE HEAD COMES OUT!!!
Really? After all that work you want me to stop for a minute. Sadists.
That’s IT! I’m letting Joey carry and deliver our next child.
After all that – I’m still going to try my best to go natural. I’m staying open to the idea of drugs be that stadol or an epidural but after getting a tooth implant with only Novocain as a pain killer I’m hoping I can tough it out. I like most of what this hospital does though. I’m still freaked the heck out by the idea of Jellybean actually making his debut but luckily I have quite a while to get use to the idea. I’m going to take advantage of the full 48 hours that I can stay at the hospital. I will let Jellybean go back to the nursery if I need a nap, a shower or to eat. I’m slowly getting use to the idea that he will be here sooner rather than later. And I’m not freaking out yet…but we do have our C-section class on Thursday. Maybe we’ll eat dinner after class instead of before like we usually do.
Oh wait! Speaking of dinner – it’s week two of being back to meal planning in “Operation Save for the Jellybean” (I just made that up – you like?) If there are any repeats from last week that means we skipped that meal or improvised.
Monday – Spaghetti with meat sauce, Garlic Rolls, Salad
Tuesday – Breakfast for dinner (My excuse for squeezing bacon into a meal!)
Wednesday – Beef Stew, Biscuits, Spinach and raspberry salad (We have friends coming over so I’ll cook this Tuesday and have it ready for Wednesday! We love this recipe too!)
Thursday – Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup
Friday – Cowboy Pie (I'm adding green beans to this too!)
Saturday - Chicken Pot Pie (I put a crust on the bottom too and freeze the leftover veggies, broth and chicken to make chicken and dumplings later!)
Sunday – Either leftovers or Hot Dogs, Baked Beans and Sweet Potato Fries