The Misadventures of Buffoon

A long, long time ago in a land far far away I introduced you to "The Misadventures of Baboon and Buffoon".

It was supposed to be a series but then I went and had Jellybean two days later and my blogging turned into a sporadic event where I posted pictures of Jellybean and tried to pass it off as writing.

What you think I haven't noticed that? Good thing the kid is so cute.

Now though - I just couldn't resist going back to it.

Baboon has actually been pretty good lately and he is laid up with some kidney stones so we'll go easy on him. Buffoon though, he has continued his antics.

Now since this is purely fictional I of course do not have any pictures but if I had to imagine Buffoon may look something like this -

and he may be employed as a plumber again after a period of unemployment.

While unemployed and looking for jobs he may have gone ahead and racked up 4 tickets.

In the time the Countess and Buffoon have been together he has gotten 15 or so tickets. The Countess - 0.

The Countess cries a little every time she has to make a car insurance payment.

So anyhow, the Buffoon was lucky enough to get two tickets dismissed, an extension on one and had another that needed to be paid by end of day yesterday. That was a must so he could elect traffic school and not raise the car insurance again.

The Countess told him this over and over again.

Reminded him he needed to leave work early and stop by her work to get the money to pay the ticket.

Called him on Monday at work and told him again.

He said "I thought I was just getting an extension."

"No - you HAVE to pay the ticket today and pick traffic school."

"Oh -okay"

Called again to make sure he was on his way. Said make sure you call me when you're getting close so I can bring you my card.

"ok"

3:30 - No Buffoon and the Clerk of Court closes in an hour.

Ring...ring... "Where are you?"

"I'm crossing over Kepler now." (A road in the Countess' town. 30 minutes away meaning he didn't stop by The Countess' work.)

"WHAT? You were supposed to come get the card so you could pay the ticket."

"I thought I was getting an extension."

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH... How many times did I go over this with you today?"

So then the Countess had to call the bank, transfer money into Buffoon's account (which is always negative) and then tell him again he had to pay the ticket and pick traffic school.

Buffoon swears she never told him he was paying the ticket.

The Countess swears he doesn't listen AT ALL.

The Countess thinks its amazing she hasn't picked up a drinking habit yet.

And yes - Buffoon has earned his name honestly.

Because We're All BFF's

I’ve decided that since we are all friends here there are certain things you have to know about me. You know to keep your BFF status so here we go.

(Hopefully, no one notices that this actually means I am copping out on a real blog post because I spent all week end playing with Jellybean and or cleaning/cooking. Although I have some AWESOME blog posts to write after our weekends activities!)

1) I only drink white milk. I think chocolate milk is disgusting. I also will never ever drink the milk that is left over in the cereal bowl. Furthermore until I was an adult I always ate my cereal dry. No milk. Just cereal. Blame my mom. That’s how she served it up.

2) I didn’t eat Tuna until I was 19. Seriously. I hated the stuff. Then I went to work at a camp in NY and when presented with seriously limited choices I broke. Now I love tuna. But the bread has to be toasted.

3) I can’t cook if there are dirty dishes in my sink. Then that sets off a cleaning rampage many times since once I get started I feel I need to keep going.

4) My house never stays clean though since I have a toddler, a husband, a cat, a dog and a never ending supply of clutter that seems to reproduce whenever I’m not looking.

5) I hate oatmeal but I force myself to eat it anyway – because its good for me.

6) I wish I had more friends in real life. I’ve realized that life with a toddler makes that difficult.

7) I can still shop in the children’s department. Yup at 29.

8) My dog runs away on a weekly basis. The entire neighborhood knows this. Good thing he’s friendly and has several adopted homes.

9) I threaten to kill my husband at least twice daily. Last night it was when I caught him eating Jellybean’s ice cream. His sweet tooth gets him in trouble a lot.

10) I would pick a book over TV any day. Now that Jellybean sleeps again my favorite way to unwind is with a good book.

11) I never clean my car out. Even though I really need to.

12) I also never wash my car. Even though I really need to.

13) I want an HGTV makeover on my whole house and my yard.

14) I’m still a Daddy’s girl at 29. Proudly too.

15) My sister is my best friend. Along with my biggest cheerleader. (Although she hates that I won’t let Jellybean spend the night by himself yet. Jellybean is still night nursing though and she would have a LONG night!)

16) I need to work on my real blog posts tonight…

In Good Times and Bad

I take thee...in good times and bad... to be my lawfully wedded husband until death do us part.

I know I said those words but over the past few months I had been seriously questioning whether I could abide by them.

Its so easy to be in a marriage when things are going good. You cruise through each day on such a high.

When times are bad though - it’s a whole different story. You start each day with a sense of dread and foreboding and basically walk around in Superbitch mode ready to snap as soon as something pisses you off.

The bad times - they were really bad the past few months. I absolutely hated going home. I'm not kidding.

I knew when I walked in that door he would be sitting on the couch, remote in hand and would not have moved all day long. Meanwhile, I was at work all day and would be busting my ass all night long taking care of the house and Jellybean.

I mentioned D-I-V-O-R-C-E. A few times.

I understood.

He felt useless and unmotivated from being unemployed. He was feeling sorry for himself.

All I could see though were all the things that could be getting done.

I spelled it out for him. UNEMPLOYMENT  VACATION.

If you are home you are responsible for taking care of all the things that are happening there AND finishing all the projects that you don't have time for when you are working.

I left lists.

They were ignored.

I bitched, complained and took off to spend the day alone with Jellybean. Anything to not have to be around the jerk who was now living in my home.

On Monday he got the call that he was going to be working full time again on a contract that should last two years.

Dr. Jekyll meet Mr. Hyde.

It was a total turnaround. He was happy again. Dare I say smiling AND laughing at my jokes?

Why yes – there was the guy I fell in love with.

So glad you could make a return. Because the gigantic ASSHOLE that had taken your place – yeah I didn’t love him so much.

This guy though – the one who came home from work and immediately took Jellybean on the back porch to play with his sand and water table and climb around his castle slide. The one who occupied Jellybean while I got to do some chores. Oh I really love the guy.

I loved him even more when he actually came to bed at 11:30 after I told him he needed to spend some time with me. We have DVR honey, just hit record.

I think God gives you the bad times so you can learn to appreciate the good. In all the things I have done I can honestly say that marriage is the hardest. The love you have for your child is UNCONDITIONAL – you never think if things get tough I can just leave. It is so hard to exhibit that same sort of love for your spouse. With no conditions – unwavering.

That is going to be what I strive for though.

Unconditional Love.

In good times and bad.

This post is linked up with Shell as part of Pour Your Heart Out Wednesdays.

 

God is Good - All the Time

God is good – All the time.

If you are around Joey’s mom’s family for any length of time you will surely hear this phrase once or twice.

I always like the sentiment behind it. It serves as a reminder that he is being good to you even when things aren’t going well. He may not answer your prayers immediately and that is a might tough pill to swallow when we live in a society that expects instant gratification.

It’s been a trying few months for us.

Joey has been unemployed since Thanksgiving.

Our mortgage is two months behind.

Joey is two months behind on child support.

Don’t even ask about my credit card bills. (We needed groceries!)

My dad had a follow up ultrasound for his carotid artery. If you’ve been following me for awhile you know he had surgery last November to clean out his carotid following a series of strokes in March 2010. The ultrasound showed he was back to a 60% blockage after only a year.

Jellybean rolled off the bed and onto the dog bed on Sunday night. I was so tired I had no recollection of getting him out of his crib and into our bed. Then he was super fussy and acting off on Monday.

My house is a bonafide disaster when it comes to being clean and organized.

Unemployment makes my husband a Grade A Jerkface to the point I went to my parents for the weekend to get away from him.

So how can I say God is good – all the time after laying all that out on the line?

Joey started a new job today. Yes, the commute is an hour and a half each way. But its steady work for a good rate and after an hour there the general contractor is already talking about hiring him on after six months from the trade pool he is contracted through. Also – jerkface became Mr. Cheerful yesterday once he knew that he had employment again. I’m talking about a quick fire transformation. My house was cleaned top to bottom. Someone kept telling me how much he loved me. Seriously – who is this guy? He spent an hour playing on the back porch with Jellybean then gave him a bath and ran out to get his prescription. Oh and he washed dishes! This is insane! We will have steady income coming in. It won’t happen overnight but we will get caught up on our bills.

Our mortgage should get caught up in the next few weeks since I have a profit sharing check coming in.

My sister spoke to a vascular surgeon who let her know that many patients develop scar tissue after the surgery which is not the same as blockage. It will be inflamed for awhile and then go back down. In all his 30 years of practice he has only had to do repeat surgery 4 times. Also 60% blockage does not warrant surgery if it does end up being that. It is treated through medication. There are no guarantees that my Dad won’t be an exception to the rule but hope is a wonderful thing. We will know more after his appointment next Monday. The hope alone though did pull my Dad out of the depression he had been in since the ultrasound!

Jellybean was not out of it from his fall. He had another ear infection – that’s why he was out of it. Napping all afternoon followed by a doctor visit and playing with Daddy did the trick for him. He slept until 2am in his crib, nursed and went back to sleep until 730 this morning. He didn’t even get his antibiotics until this morning because he fell asleep while Joey was picking them up. Like this. 

I may have also sent him to daycare today in his jammies. He looked comfortable and everyone needs a jammy day when they don’t feel good – right?

Tonight’s dinner is already cooked. We just have to warm it up. Tomorrow we’ll eat dinner at church. We have a plan for crock pot meals during the week and cleaning on the weekends. We’re going to try to work together rather than fight each other on what needs to get done at home.

So yes – God is Good – All the time.

The Life of a Jellybean

This guy had a busy day.

It started at 6am...

Fun for Mommy.

By 9:30 we were at gymnastics.

Then at 11 we had a cake smash to do.

We picked a pretty, smaller cake.

He was not impressed.

A taste of frosting seemed to change his mind.

In fact he decided it was downright fun!

All the cake you can eat? Heck yea!

I might even touch it myself!

Yay! Cake!

I'm not diabetic, right mom?

Did I mention his moods change quickly?

No? Well they do!

For some reason it doesn't bother me...

Haven't the slightest idea why...

After the cake smash it was time for a true Florida activity.

The beach in the middle of January.

It's all fun and games chasing birds,

Until someone loses his toes!

Hoping all of you had a wonderful weekend and that this week lets me blog and comment!

Life Lessons - Damn Addiction!

1) Dear Pinterest - Thank you for supplying me with endless ideas of what I would like to do.

2) Now please supply me with the endless funds and time to do all these things.

3) While we're at it I would also like a bigger house with plenty of land (oh and a pool!), a new car, one of those gourmet kitchens...

4) Damn Pinterest addiction...

5) In other news Jellybean is now sleeping through the night pretty consistently - in his crib to boot!

6) I am not. Apparently after 2 years of NOT sleeping 8 hours at a time your body is no longer able to drop off and sleep long stretches.

7) Sucks ass.

8) Hubby is also back to work.

9) And he got ANOTHER ticket.

10) I'm thrilled - can you tell?

11) My other huge news - Jellybean is getting dedicated at church on Sunday.

12) That I am THRILLED about! Now to find a dressy outfit that isn't $70! Craziness!

Wishing all of you a wonderful weekend!

Get It Together

I thought that maybe I was exaggerating at times. That all kids were like this. I would say that I can’t get anything done because I have to watch Jellybean constantly. By the time he was ready to go to sleep so was I. I would drop from sheer exhaustion.

Then a friend came over.

With her 11 month old girl.

Who sat there calmly playing with one toy most of the time.

While Jellybean tore around the room like a Tasmanian Devil. Running from this toy to that and knocking poor Lily over half the time.

“Is he always like this?”

“Pretty much!”

He got a play kitchen for his birthday. Two days later he figured out that he could use the oven door as a step and climb on top of the kitchen set.

I witnessed the whole thing swaying underneath him as I plucked him off and placed him on solid ground.

The crazy child just laughed.

(Did you see that grey hair just grow in on my head? At 29? All Jellybean!)

Then my husband would claim to do chores which came out to I washed dishes and swept and mopped. Despite being home ALL DAY for the past month and a half. (Thank you Jesus – he went back to work yesterday. I was ready to kill him!)

In my world getting chores done means you swept, mopped, vacuumed, dusted, scrubbed the bathrooms, made the beds, disinfected toys, put away laundry, etc, etc.

That’s hard to do when you can’t pull yourself away from the TV.

Its even harder to do when you are out of the house 10 hours a day and then have to cook dinner, play, give baths and convince a rambunctious toddler to sleep.

I’m determined to get on track though and get organized. That is my 2012 resolution. I stayed up WAY late last night but I put all the laundry away, washed dishes AND spit shined the bathroom. I am EXHAUSTED today but I’m going to keep going every night until I feel like the house is where it needs to be. Then we’re going to keep it that way. That means I WILL hold the hubby accountable for leaving his and Jellybean’s dirty clothes and diapers laying around. We WILL clean up after ourselves and dejunkify our home. I WILL get organized at home and that is going to carry over to the rest of my life – finances, career, parenting and hopefully marriage.

Because it can’t keep going the way it has been.

(Thank you Pinterest for providing me with endless inspirations on how to make that happen! )

This post is linked up with Shell as part of Pour Your Heart Out Wednesdays.

 

Just Plane Cute

I disappeared because I was busy preparing for Jellybean's First Birthday party. I went with a plane theme since this kid LOVES planes. I'd like to thank Pinterest for giving me more ideas then I could possible do myself. I think it turned out pretty darn cute though. We held the party at a gymnastics school I use to work at. My mom even took turns swinging into the pit. The woman is in her 60's! Go Mom!

All in all - we had a GREAT time. The party was really more for the adults and it went well. I may want to have my 30th birthday party there. I also realized that we really need to get more involved with church and playgroups. I've been saying it but now I am determined to go through with it.

Jellybean had his one year well baby. He's 27.5 inches and 18 lbs. Tiny but healthy. He's got a ton of teeth - 7, I think and is cutting 3 more including two molars. He is WAY ahead developmentally. As in the 18 - 24 month range. That makes me a PROUD mama! I love watching him figure stuff out - its as exciting for me as for him.

Now if he ever starts going to sleep earlier and I get caught up on my chores i can start reading and commenting on blogs again.

PYHO - Remind Me

I love being a Mom. I really do. I can't think of anything else I'd rather be.

I'm more than just a mom though.

I'm still a woman and a wife.

My husband forgot that somewhere along the way.

He stopped touching, romancing and wooing me.

Most nights he would fall asleep on the couch watching TV way after I would go to bed.

With him not working the past month and us in financial shambles we've been fighting a lot more too which doesn't help the situation.

I can say that since the Jellybean has been born I don't need more than 2 hands to count the number of intimate encounters we have had.

I need more than that.

So I have told him.

And kept telling him.

I need to be touched.

I need you to bring some romance back in.

I know you're depressed and upset and struggling.

But I can't save a sinking ship alone.

We have to get through this together.

But if you have checked out emotionally, physically and mentally - it ain't going to happen buddy.

So now he knows what he needs to do. Not because I feel that the effort needs to be only his but because he rejected me so many times when I tried that I refuse to initiate this.

It's his responsibility to Remind Me why I fell in love with him.

Remind Me of who you use to be.

Remind Me of what we use to be.

Remind Me of what we're going to be.

Remind Me that we're going to make it through this too.

This post is linked up with Shell as part of Pour Your Heart Out Wednesdays.