Wednesday, February 22, 2012

PYHO - What have you done for me lately?

Have you read this article? Mad at Dad

I was reading it and just kept thinking - "Yes, yes, and oh yes!"

I like the mom's in the article feel like I do the lion's share of the work with really nothing reciprocated back to me. It's not just due to Jellybean though. I did it before him but now my work load has increased in direct proportion to the hubby's laziness increasing.

It got me to thinking - "What have I done for myself lately?"

The answer was - nothing.

My life has revolved around the Jellybean, the hubby and everything that needs to get done.

The hubby has the luxury of being able to take his time on the way home. Stop off here or there if he wants to visit a friend or go fishing.

I can't do that. I have pick up duty from day care. Jellybean has to eat by 6:30 at the latest or he turns into an evil ankle biting monster! I walk in the door around 5:30 or so which doesn't leave much time to get a meal on the table.

Last night - I was determined to do something for me. Dinner was in the crock pot ready to go. The moment hubby walked in the door I let him know he was watching Jellybean and feeding him dinner. I was going for a run. My first time working out in over a year.

I only took 11 minutes to myself. That's what it took me run a mile. I am hurting today. But yesterday - it felt great. I was energized afterwards. (Good thing too, since hubby passed out around 7pm and I still had to fix lunches, wash dishes, fold laundry AND get today's dinner prepped!)

It's not going to end with just that one thing though. I AM going to carve out time for myself from now on. I'd love to switch roles for just a week so he can see how much I really do. From meal planning, baby wrangling robbing Peter to pay Paul and tending to the house. I do it all. While he feels like Dad of the year if he takes Jellybean outside to play for an hour and gives him a bath.

Luckily that article also had a Part 2 - Getting Past the Anger. So I'll be trying to implement some of those changes. the hard part though is getting my hubby to stick to the changes. He is about impossible to change on any level. Like most men he's pretty one dimensional and doesn't see everything else that needs to get done. He sees the remote and the TV and the couch.

But since I'm mad at him right now he is pretty close to seeing the end of having clean clothing (I didn't wash any of his this week) and if he keeps it up the end of meals he likes. I personally am a fan of tofu and seaweed so if I need to switch to cooking with those for awhile to institute the change - I will.

That is what I'm doing for  myself lately.

How about you?

This post is linked up with Shell as part of Pour Your Heart Out Wednesdays.


Sara said...

Grrrrr. These are some of the same reasons why we DON'T have kids yet. Maybe I should read Part 2 of that article... If your "hold-outs" work, let me know, maybe they'll work here too :-)

Jenn and Casey said...

I am so GLAD you took some time for yourself, and I really hope that you will continue to do so. It's gotta be such a hard juggle, but keep asking for what you need.

Kisma said...

Ha, I stopped doing my husband laundry years ago. He does it now:)

It is important for all mothers to allow themselves the time for just them. You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of them.


Kristen said...

Ok. Honest? I'm mad at dad too. This is part of our problem with getting Mixie. I am the only one who knows how to do Alexander's medicines, food, etc. I take care of the twins and the house and groceries and laundry... and now a DOG? Not only a dog - but a service dog that has to be constantly worked on her training otherwise our $$ was for a very expensive pet, not a lifesaving dog. Having said that, I'm working on a plan to wake earlier and get some "me" time. hopefully... Great post.

Anonymous said...

Good for you! I am going to check out that link now...

Shell said...

It definitely helps to make that time for you. I learned that my husband wasn't necessarily going to offer it up, but if I just did it instead of waiting for him to tell me to, me time happened a lot more.


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