Signs you are the Mom of a Toddler -
You have no idea where your keys are because someone stole them and they have yet to be located.
You do know that the remote to the TV is in the back seat of your car because prying it from Jellybean's grubby little hands would have resulted in a meltdown I am not equipped to handle at 6:30am.
You find your panties and other items of laundry in interesting places because you ALWAYS have a helper when it comes to
unfolding folding laundry.
Your cat has taken to hiding in the bedroom closet because he has been chased one too many times.
Your child wakes up, points his finger at you and shakes it while saying "No, No, No"
The most common phrase out of your mouth is Don't eat that.
Your legs are getting incredibly fit because your house now resembles an equestrian jumping course due to the sheer number of gates you have blocking off the No, no, no areas.
Your washer is constantly going.
Your sink is always full of dishes.
You have to think about the last time you showered.
You have a toothbrush and toothpaste in your desk at work since you rarely get to brush your teeth before getting there.
You can smell a poopy diaper as soon as you enter the room.
You still think its funny when your child rolls over in his sleep, farts and goes back to sleep.
Random people are always getting called/hung up on since your phone is routinely stolen.
Nursing Mom's will recognize this one- its fun to play peek a boo with his milk source.
You have seriously considered putting a helmet on your child.
The dog stakes a spot right next to the high chair at every meal since he knows he will be well fed.
Exhaustion is your new normal. When you have a chance to get some sleep your body no longer knows how to.
You've cleaned poop out of the tub.
You've been vomited on.
You wouldn't change a darn thing even if you could.
But please someone tell me where my damn keys are!