Many times in the past few months I've read blog entries about mom's being competitive and judging each other. About the unspoken war we all have going with each other about who is the better Mom. I really, really try not to judge and try to remember to each his own.
But sometimes? It takes all my strength and self control to not open my mouth and say something.
Like when you see people laying a 5 month old on their stomach to sleep, while wrapped in the baby comforter and then they let said baby "Cry It Out" for the next two hours..
I really wanted to shout at them "FOR PETE'S SAKE! YOU CALL YOURSELF PARENTS?" but I didn't, I simply went to bed instead while peering down at my Jellybean and once again feeling blessed that he is such a good baby.
Its such a hard line to walk between wanting to offer others insight from all the reading you have done and crossing that line into unsolicited advice. I have made it a point to be a well educated parent. I read as much as I can and research what methods are out there and what science and study supports. I try to share that as much as I can. If there is something I am unsure of - I ask.
That is why I get frustrated when I see people doing things which I know aren't suggested or could be detrimental to their child. Then I remember - It's Not My Place to tell someone else how they should raise their child.
They are choosing the methods which they feel will work best for them and their family. That probably won't be what is working best for us. That doesn't necessarily mean that one of is wrong and the other right. My choices aren't any better than someone else's. Just different.
Honestly? Joey and I don't always agree on the best way to do things with the Jellybean. I am okay with somewhat following Baby Led Weaning - it scares the crap out of Joey and he prefers to break up food into miniscule pieces that Jellybean needs a magnifying glass in order to find. I don't believe in spanking and Joey thinks there is nothing wrong with it.
If we don't always agree with each other - there is no way I can tell someone else what they should be doing in their own home. So, when those moments come that someone is doing something I would never consider doing in a million years - I take a deep breath and smile -
and remember that -
some people would never let their baby sleep in bed with them
(when its 3 am and all Jellybean wants is to snuggle and nurse and has a melt down every time I lay him in his bed...I let the kiddo sleep where he will - Mama needs sleep too!)
some people would be appalled that I don't disinfect every item that Jellybean drops on the floor
some people can't believe that Jellybean still isn't sleeping through the night, I mean I should really sleep train him
some people would frown upon my plan to let Jellybean self-wean as long as that may take
so I choose to try to not judge, lest I be judged myself!
This post is linked up with Shell as part of Pour Your Heart Out Wednesdays.