Saturday, July 3, 2010

The Hangover

I got you with that title, didn't I? I bet you were about to go all "Oh! I know she didn't!" on me! Don't worry Jellybean has not been exposed to any alcohol unless you are counting the witch hazel I use as an astringent! If I can't handle the smell of coffee, I sure as heck wouldn't be able to handle alcohol and we know what I went through to get knocked up. There is no way I am jeopardizing it.

I have just finally figured out what the first trimester of pregnancy is like. I can't believe it took me this long to make the correlation. I mean I experienced it on a regular basis for oh, let's say the first 3 years of college, give or take a year! The pounding headaches, never ending fatigue, extreme hunger and nausea - it's like a never ending hangover! Now I know what all that partying in my undergrad years was for. I can now just safely say that I was in training for the first three months of pregnancy. I no longer need to be ashamed to admit that I would make Hunch Punch so strong my male roommates would beg me to add juice to it, that I was the one who discovered how to make Jell-o shots with out any water in them whatsoever (see the secret is you heat up the rum to get the Jell-o to dissolve, add your cold water and then stick those babies in the freezer), or the dancing on top of bars.

Woops, guess that last one had nothing to do with preparing for pregnancy but it was fun at the time. But really I now find myself craving pizza or greasy diner food at 3am while begging for saltines and Gatorade the next morning - it's like deja vu but for a completely different reason!

I have a feeling those hangover days are long behind me, luckily I became a lightweight years ago and one daiquiri is known to give me a buzz now. Jellybean will probably never believe that his or her mom ever had those wild and crazy days just like I didn't believe that my parents did. I mean parents are OLD - they didn't have lives and there is no way they were ever cool! I'm okay with Jellybean thinking that. Hopefully my friends won't ever reveal the truth on those innocent virgin ears. (I can just imagine it now - "I remember the time we went to Ybor to celebrate your mom's 20th birthday and we bought Jell-o shots for her all night." "Hey mom- Isn't 21 the drinking age?" "Go to your room, Jellybean. Go to your room!") Luckily, most of my friends are finally joining the old and married ranks with me so when the time comes that they add to their families I'll have plenty of stories about them too. Speaking of married - quick sidebar here - Congrats to one of my dearest friends from college - Scott on his engagement to the lovely Krystal! I am so very thrilled for the two of you and wish you the happiest marriage you can dream of. 

Back to my story here - sorry, pregnancy brain, easily distracted! So tomorrow will be the beginning of week ten, the end of Jellybean being an embryo. That's right, this little dude/dudette is growing like a weed and will have achieved fetus status in 8 days. I think, we should get shirts with badges on them as baby grows that you can wear proudly like they award you in video games. I mean who doesn't want a "Lost my tail!" award or "Developed Kidneys!" I would proudly wear a "Fetus!" shirt! I'm actually considering wearing a shirt that says "Knocked Up!"  to make the announcement at work.

Tacky? Oh yes! But right up there with my sick sense of humor. Of course I don't have a belly bump like that chick does. Mine's more of a baby roll or perhaps a hiccup -
 Does anyone see something? Anything? Bueller? Bueller? Didn't think so.. Sigh..Off to drown my sorrows in some General Tso's chicken. Then I can brag about my chinese food bump at least!


Erin said...

you are so cute & tiny! congratulations!

ModernMom said...

LOL I laughed my way through this post. There are a lot of things that ARE the same about those first few weeks of being preggo and the morning after drinking too much! Love it!

Krystal said...

Thank you for the shout out :) I am really excited. I think we have set a date!


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