Shell over at Things I Can't Say hosts - Pour Your Heart Out. It is a place to just get whatever is weighing on your heart out. Please be kind to all of the posters.
As I mentioned in Monday's post, I actually made it to church on Sunday. Although the sermon was great as always it also happened to be a communion service this week. The pastor made it a point to mention that communion is all about forgiveness. How we receive it because God has forgiven us for our sins. How the only way we can fully appreciate him and his gifts is if we too practice forgiveness in our lives. I thought long and hard on that one. I realized what a disservice I was doing to myself by refusing to forgive certain people. I was in fact giving them power over me by holding on to that hurt and pain.
I came to the realization that I can forgive someone without needing to have a relationship with them or letting that person back into my life. I can say - I forgive you but please leave me and my family alone. Forgiving does not mean accepting or condoning. I can pray for a person that hurt me - although I am tempted to pray in this fashion -
I won't. I will pray that something changes in these people who have hurt me which softens their hardened heart and lets the right entities work in them. I will pray that they are able to see their own mistakes and the hurt that they have caused others and work to change it. That they will not repeat those same mistakes with their children or damage the poor kids anymore than they are damaged if they have kids of their own. That they will one day come to a place where they can be happy with themselves as a person. That maybe everything that they do have will be enough to bring them joy.
It's amazing how long we will hold onto a hurt or pain and truly believe we are punishing the other person by doing it. The pastor made me realize that no matter what anyone has done which has hurt me I am gaining nothing by holding a grudge against them. My failure to forgive that person doesn't effect them in the slightest. As I said earlier all that does is give them the power to hurt me again because if I can't forgive them then with every new thing they do which bothers me it just multiplies. But what a loop it can throw someone for if your only response is - I forgive you and I'll be praying for you.
Something to think about...
7 comments:
Amazing post girl. You are so right on this. I had a time where I was holding a grudge, was so hurt by someone when it finally dawned on my I was only hurting myself. They had no clue. You're right, we don't have to let them in our lives but we do need to forgive them. Thank you for this reminder. xoxo
Oh man I have the hardest time with this. I been praying for the abilty to forgive and move on. You're doing much better than me I hope to do the same some day soon.
GREAT post!
My dad e-mailed me that song a while ago and said it reminded him of me... Ha!
I haven't been to church in a while. I really do need to get back. I don't really know what's holding me back there...
I always tried to focus on the forgiveness thing, but sometimes it is SO hard. And then I find myself becoming judgemental b/c I see other people who consider themselves devote Catholics that won't forgive someone and hold things against them. And that is wrong of me too.
Wonderful post.
Awesome post Di! It is so true that when we hold something against someone else we're actually giving them power. It is so hard to. But if it wasn't worth it it wouldn't be hard right? Great thought.
That song absolutely cracks me up, everytime I hear it!
I've also learned that it's possible to forgive- but without having to have a relationship with that person. It doesn't mean that we forget- just let go of the anger(and yes, these are things I tell myself all the time, so really, I'm just talking to myself in your comments, but you get to listen in)
I go through bouts of forgiving...feel better...get hurt by someone else...let it fester and forget about forgiveness until I am reminded once again. A vicious cycle. Wish I would learn to forgive instantly and move forward.
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