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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Its a Balancing Act


This post is linked up with Shell as part of Pour Your Heart Out Wednesdays.


I have a confession to make.

I am not Perfect.

I don’t have a perfect marriage.

Or a perfect house.

I’m not a perfect mom, sister, daughter or employee.

Sometimes I’m even a downright crappy friend and wife.

In my marriage – we fight. We get snippy with each other and we tend to overreact. We are two hotheads that fell madly in love with each other and try to keep the peace 75% of the time. That other 25, well – that gives me blog fodder of course.

The only reason my house hasn’t been condemned is that because my not so perfect husband has done an amazing job at stepping up and keeping it mostly picked up. My bedroom still doesn’t have a door on it. We haven’t hung the curtains back up in the house. Most of our laundry is worn straight out of the basket or even the dryer. The dishes get washed though. There is food to eat and there aren’t any tumbleweeds blowing across the house.

He feels that since the majority of the baby wrangling falls in my lap - the house wrangling falls in his. I love him for taking that on.

As a mom, I’m learning. I’m new at this and I don’t have all the answers but I know how I plan on doing things. Sometimes I don’t realize right away that he’s upset because he has a poopy diaper. Or I get frustrated when its 3am and its his fifth time waking up to nurse that night. I occasionally wish that his naps would last a little longer. He’s loved though. He has clean clothes, diapers, toys and parents that would do anything for him. He is happy and content. What more could I ask for?

The way we plan on raising Jellybean is a sharp contrast to what we go through with Joey's other son, who is 9 1/2. We get him very rarely throughout the year due to a less than ideal custody agreement and he goes to a home with no rules and discipline to our pretty strict household. Its rough on all of us and developments from this summer prove to make it even harder. Since my blog isn't anonymous, I really can't share more than that. Boy, do I wish I could though!

I don’t have enough time anymore for anyone. Myself included. This past weekend I got my first haircut since February. I haven’t had a chance to hang out with friends since sometime in May. It took me two months to cook a meal my dad had requested. I still haven’t done a “sister” day with mine. And a romantic relationship with the hubby – we’ve been trying to watch “Little Fockers” for 4 days now. We have fallen asleep watching it each time.

Is my life crazy now? Do I feel stretched too thin much of the time? Yes and of yes. I can’t give everything 100% all the time but I figured out it’s a balancing act and I think I may be finding my balance now.

It’s okay to let Jellybean play while I try to get some chores done. He actually enjoys sitting in his high chair and throwing Tupperware lids around while I make dinner. He doesn’t need me to entertain him every moment we are home together.

I may have loved the long hair that I spent years growing out but it just wasn’t practical anymore. So I chopped it off and you know what? I love it! I feel like a sexy mama now. I picked a hairstyle that looks “done” straight out of the shower and air dryed. That’s an important balance right there. I can look good without spending time on it. Also when I feel sexy, I can be sexy with the hubby. (Of course – the occasional long shower would be nice too!)

We aren’t going to have the gourmet, home cooked meals every night anymore.  We will still eat though. I made homemade chicken soup on Monday – so we had a Stouffer’s Ravioli meal on Tuesday with a homemade salad. It’s also okay to let the hubby cook and create his usually successful kitchen concoctions – even if he insists on adding Worcestershire sauce or Vanilla Extract to everything. (I’ve tried explaining a few times that Vanilla extract is for baking. No dice.)

It may take us a week to watch a two hour movie but that just means we get a few extra moments snuggled on the couch together that we would miss out on otherwise. Once again - not perfect, but it works for us.

I don’t think I’m ever going to be perfect. I won’t ever have enough time for everything and everyone. I work 40 hours a week and commute another hour each day. My son needs to be in bed by 7/730 each night or he will have a complete and total meltdown. I have to pick and choose what my priorities are. I am going to make mistakes along the way.

As long as I keep my balance though, I think we’re all going to be just fine.

11 comments:

Sara said...

This is what I love about you- you are so honest and you just "own" your perceived imperfections. Which, btw, aren't! I think this just means you're normal!!!

Sara said...

Plus, I died laughing at the whole vanilla extract thing. Really? It just doesn't go with everything. So funny!

Megan said...

This post is awesome - I adore people who see themselves clearly.

Renegades said...

Ick to the vanilla extract in things that aren't baked.

Good post. Most people working have to work on getting the balancing act down pact.

Beth Zimmerman said...

This is a great post and you've already learned one of life's most important lessons ... forgive your own imperfections and do the best you can! And remember hubby is doing his own balancing act at the same time! Hugs!

JDaniel4's Mom said...

How wonderful that your husband helps with housework!

I really enjoyed your post!

Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Good for you for recognizing that you have to let some things go. I bet you wouldn't change it for the world! :)

Beth said...

Love this post! Balancing acts are tough...but recognizing that we, as humans, are imperfect certainly helps! :)

angela said...

Balancing everything is a tough thing to figure out :) Good for you for realizing that you don't have to be perfect to make things work!

Shell said...

That idea of being perfect just isn't something any of us can reach. You have to find that balance that works for you!

Jen Has A Pen said...

I love it when people are real. I think we are all put such unreachable expectations on ourselves that when someone finally admits, "Yeah, I can't do everything," I feel like I can breathe a little easier. Also, vanilla extract??? Whuh?

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