Jellybean's Birth Announcement!

Chic Screen Blue Baby 5x7 folded card

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PYHO - Jellybean's Story

This post is linked up with Shell as part of Pour Your Heart Out Wednesdays.

 

My precious Jellybean - six months ago today you made your unexpected and early arrival into the world. Every moment since then I have fallen further and further in love with you to the point where I no longer remember life before you. You are a full time job and so exhausting but I have never felt as fulfilled as I do when you snuggle up to me and sigh that sweet baby sigh of contentment. That right there reassures me that I am doing my job right with you. Along with the fact that you are the happiest baby I have ever met - and I'm not just saying that because I'm your momma. I really mean it.

So Jellybean - long over due this is your story.

I wanted you for a very, very long time. Daddy and I tried for many months to create this perfect little baby. Mom was poked, prodded and examined in every way shape and form. She took drugs that made her crazy (although Daddy might say she already was!)in order to have a better chance of making sweet little you. Finally after 22 months of trying, we finally saw this -

Yup - you were on your way!

I loved being pregnant with you. Especially once I could feel you moving around in there. You loved oatmeal. Every time I ate it you would go crazy in there. You also liked to make your presence known when I would sit down for a meeting at work. I got more and more excited as time went on.

 Can you see yourself poking out on the side here?

I also got more and more uncomfortable and I started telling people it felt like you were running out of room. I would later find out that I was right!

I had a regular appointment with our amazing doctor on Wednesday the 29th of December. I was 34 weeks and 6 days pregnant with you. I stepped on the scale and I had lost 5 lbs in 2 weeks - during the holidays. Then they measured my fundal height and I was off by 2 cm. I wasn't scared yet but I knew something was off. I received orders for an ultrasound and managed to schedule one for 11 the next morning.

Your dad and I had been fighting something awful around that time. It wasn't fun at all but I let him know that they wanted to check on you again.

That Thursday, December 30, I woke up and took my weekly belly shot to document 35 weeks. Then I went for my ultrasound. Our regular girl wasn't there and this tech wasn't very forthcoming with information. Luckily at this point I knew what I was looking at. It seemed your pool - had run dry. All of mommy's amniotic fluid was gone. Then you were also measuring about 4-5 weeks behind. I asked when the doctor would get the results and the tech said with the holiday it could be until Monday. That just wouldn't do.

So as I walked out of the ultrasound office I called our doctor and told them what I had seen. Then I called my work, your daddy and your aunt to let all of them know and say - I think we may be meeting him TODAY! Before I had even made the 20 minute drive home our doctor called and told us to head to the hospital. And to pack a bag. No guarantees the nurse said but be prepared.

I tried calling Daddy and his phone was dead. I taped a note to the front door along with the phone charger telling him to get to the hospital as soon as possible.

Your aunt was on her way to meet us there.

I made it to the hospital around 1pm where they were waiting for me already. I never filled out a single paper! They were all nice to me as I got hooked up and kept reassuring me that I would probably be going home later that day. I sat and listened to your heartbeat and waited on people to show up. My mommy called me and kept telling me not to cry that I was okay. I don't think she was listening very well since it took 5 times before she finally heard me say - MOM, I'm not crying!

Your aunt showed up and we joked around. Daddy's family started calling me and we were all waiting on him to show up. Finally right before they took me back for our second ultrasound of the day he called to say he was on his way. Your aunt Karolina and I went back for the ultrasound. About 2 minutes into it your Daddy and brother showed up. She did all her measurements and then called her supervisor in. Never a good sign. More measurements and luckily you took the right number of practice breaths.

It was back to the room for us. The doctor came in and gave us the news.

You had stopped growing and there wasn't any fluid in there for you.

We needed to get you out and quick.

There was 1 surgery ahead of us then we were going in for an emergency C-section.

Now Mommy started crying. She was scared for you and for her. She knew you would be getting transferred to another hospital and she wouldn't get to be with you.

In what seemed like no time at all they had Mommy up on a table and were sticking needles in her back while she kept crying. Then they spread her out like she was on a cross and taped her down. They invited what seemed like everyone in the hospital into that OR because they were all worried about you. Finally after what seemed like forever Daddy came in. They cut, tugged and pulled - it was uncomfortable.

Then I heard the sweetest cry ever. At 6:02pm you arrived weighing 3lb 2oz and 15 1/2 in long. I had to tell Daddy to go see you, take pictures and cut the cord.

Then they let me kiss your sweet face before they whisked you away.

I spent the next hour in the recovery room. I asked how you were every three minutes or so. I tried lying about regaining feeling. It didn't work since the nurse had to go and poke me and ask me where she had poked me!

I DON'T KNOW LADY! BRING ME MY BABY!!!!

Finally they took me back down to my room which was crowded with your grandparents, Daddy, your brother and your Aunt. You were still in the nursery and they didn't want to bring you out yet. I was very out of it still. And thirsty - really thirsty.

Then they made the decision to transfer you to the NICU at Florida Hospital for Children. Mommy cried again but knew it was what was best for you. Daddy was going to go to your hospital while your Aunt stayed behind with Mommy. They brought you in to see when the transport team came for you.

I didn't sleep that whole night or the next day.

My blood pressure was sky high, my liver enzymes were elevated and my platelets were low.

We later found out I probably had undiagnosed HELPP syndrome.

The doctor made the call to keep me one more night.

And knocked me out with a sleeping pill.

Meanwhile you were doing great, snuggled up in your little condo.

I was up with the sun the next morning. My blood pressure had been stable the whole night and my blood work came back normal. I was getting out!

Daddy came to pick me and we raced back over to you. I spent all day by your side.

Your aunt, uncle and grandparents came to see you too. You ignored most of us and slept.

That night Daddy and I checked into the Ronald McDonald house.

The doctor's told us to expect for you to stay in the NICU until your due date of 2/3/2011 - another 5 weeks.

Your nurses all loved you dearly and would constantly tell us what a good baby you were.

I prayed for you incessantly.

You proved all the doctor's wrong and were released 2 weeks later.

Today you are still a tiny peanut - 12lbs 1 oz and 24 1/4 inches. Your pediatrician's office loves you to pieces. You have outgrown your reflux and are developmentally ahead for a full term baby. You love to swim across the carpet on your back and can't stay still. So far you have tried cereal, bananas, avocado and sweet potatoes and love them all.

I love watching you grow and the fact that you finally made me a mommy.

My sweet Jellybean - you are my world!

Conversations with Jellybean

Just a little further.. Ugh.. Almost got it..

Wait! What's this? Oh my favorite toy! You came back to me.

That's not a toy, Jellybean! Those are your feet silly. They are a part of you. You are going to walk on them.

How am I supposed to walk on something that was clearly made for sucking on, Mom?

Shoot, next your going to tell me that fingers are made for something else, too!

I just don't know about you, Mom!

Finally - a sneak peak of Jellybean's six month photos which I am linking up with Mommy and Me Monday for! (Thanks Shell for introducing me to Mommy and Me!)

Hosted by Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?

Friday Night Leftovers

I just discovered Friday Night Leftovers and they are perfect for my disorganized Mommy brain!

The hubby was on dinner duty last night. Spaghetti. Easy, right? Impossible to f up. Unless you put cumin in the spaghetti sauce. And end up with taco flavored spaghetti. Which is disgusting.

I think he was just trying to permanently get out of dinner duty.

I figured out how to get Jellybean to sleep longer stretches at night. Unfortunately it is by letting him sleep in bed with me, which I don’t want to become a regular thing. Damned if I do, Damned if I don’t.

I think the hubby is going through Manopause. That could be the only explanation for his mood swings.

I need to lay off the coffee. My stomach isn’t liking it.

The damn cat already scratched our brand new couches. He’s getting declawed – next week. Or SoftPaws.

I decided to wear a T-shirt dress to work today. It has made pumping interesting.

My hair has been doing the Florida Frizz all week despite numerous antifrizz products. The 80s have nothing on my poof!

I’m taking Jellybean to get pictures taken tomorrow. His 6 month pictures. Sob.

Then on Monday he gets shots.

Jellybean’s reflux cough is back. If the hubby was a single dad the pediatrician’s office would make a killing on him. He wanted me to take him to the doctor today to get him checked out. Despite the appointment on Monday. And the fact that he has no fever or any other symptoms. Just a cough. From his reflux. Which we have had checked out before. He gains weight. The cough comes back until his reflux gets in check. Rinse, lather and repeat.

We really need to get our asses back in church. And Jellybean baptized. Except his naps fall during service times. Sigh.

I didn't kill him!

I almost killed the hubby last night.

I was really, really tempted to. But then I had Jellybean to think of. It was his bed time and I didn’t want to have to stick Jellybean in his car seat and drive him all over the place while I figured out how to dispose of the body. Plus the hubby is heavy and dead bodies are all floppy and stuff. I'd have to empty my trunk out too and that could take a while!

So I let him live. But it was a close call.

Joey came home in a FINE mood last night.

Mind you, I said nothing when he decided to stop for a haircut and other guy fumbling things on the way home.

That is despite the fact that I was covered in spitup since Jellybean wanted to share with me at lunch and it had indeed soaked through my pants. Didn't say a word when he got in the shower before me.

I even started dinner even though it was his turn to cook.

Then I finished making dinner too while he dug holes on MY side of the yard without asking me for permission.

I didn't even throw sharp objects at him when he yelled at me for closing the bathroom door. Which I hadn't. I closed the door to the Jellybean's room so the cat wouldn't get in his crib AGAIN.

He assumed through the shower curtain that it must have been his door though because he was mad.

And he needed someone to be MAD at.

I was the only one there.

I wanted to be a bitch right back to him. I really did.

But I couldn't.

I know why he's mad.

I know he's hurting and scared.

And I know it has nothing to do with me.

So I let him be mad. I called him out on taking it out on me but I let him be mad.

Then I tiptoed around him when he fell asleep on the couch.

I didn't even get upset that I was the one up all night with a coughing Jellybean.

This is one of those times where I can't share what is bothering my hubby because this is MY blog and he deserves HIS privacy. I'm not excusing his bad attitude.

But I understand it.

If he put up with the hormonal mess I was through Clomid and then pregnancy.

I can be on the receiving end once in awhile too, I guess.

Sharing the Savings with You - Mott's For Tot's

If you aren't already a member of Vocalpoint - go sign up now!

I've been treated to many great free samples and coupons throughout the years - most recently, the yummy Frosted Miniwheats with Berries found their way into my mailbox. That was a welcome breakfast snack for me one day at work!

I am super excited about the latest saving partnership they have going on though.At the end of this month I am starting to officially introduce Jellybean to solid's. I have already started to introduce him to a sippy cup with water and after water of course comes juice.

As most of you know - most 100% juice is loaded down with sugar. Luckily, Mott's for Tot's has 40% less sugar than 100% apple juice. It also comes in five yummy flavors: Apple, Apple White Grape, NEW Immune Support Fruit Punch*, NEW Bone Health Grape**, and NEW Mixed Berry!

So if you want only the best for your tot too - head on over here and sign up for the savings!

Its a Balancing Act

This post is linked up with Shell as part of Pour Your Heart Out Wednesdays.

I have a confession to make.

I am not Perfect.

I don’t have a perfect marriage.

Or a perfect house.

I’m not a perfect mom, sister, daughter or employee.

Sometimes I’m even a downright crappy friend and wife.

In my marriage – we fight. We get snippy with each other and we tend to overreact. We are two hotheads that fell madly in love with each other and try to keep the peace 75% of the time. That other 25, well – that gives me blog fodder of course.

The only reason my house hasn’t been condemned is that because my not so perfect husband has done an amazing job at stepping up and keeping it mostly picked up. My bedroom still doesn’t have a door on it. We haven’t hung the curtains back up in the house. Most of our laundry is worn straight out of the basket or even the dryer. The dishes get washed though. There is food to eat and there aren’t any tumbleweeds blowing across the house.

He feels that since the majority of the baby wrangling falls in my lap - the house wrangling falls in his. I love him for taking that on.

As a mom, I’m learning. I’m new at this and I don’t have all the answers but I know how I plan on doing things. Sometimes I don’t realize right away that he’s upset because he has a poopy diaper. Or I get frustrated when its 3am and its his fifth time waking up to nurse that night. I occasionally wish that his naps would last a little longer. He’s loved though. He has clean clothes, diapers, toys and parents that would do anything for him. He is happy and content. What more could I ask for?

The way we plan on raising Jellybean is a sharp contrast to what we go through with Joey's other son, who is 9 1/2. We get him very rarely throughout the year due to a less than ideal custody agreement and he goes to a home with no rules and discipline to our pretty strict household. Its rough on all of us and developments from this summer prove to make it even harder. Since my blog isn't anonymous, I really can't share more than that. Boy, do I wish I could though!

I don’t have enough time anymore for anyone. Myself included. This past weekend I got my first haircut since February. I haven’t had a chance to hang out with friends since sometime in May. It took me two months to cook a meal my dad had requested. I still haven’t done a “sister” day with mine. And a romantic relationship with the hubby – we’ve been trying to watch “Little Fockers” for 4 days now. We have fallen asleep watching it each time.

Is my life crazy now? Do I feel stretched too thin much of the time? Yes and of yes. I can’t give everything 100% all the time but I figured out it’s a balancing act and I think I may be finding my balance now.

It’s okay to let Jellybean play while I try to get some chores done. He actually enjoys sitting in his high chair and throwing Tupperware lids around while I make dinner. He doesn’t need me to entertain him every moment we are home together.

I may have loved the long hair that I spent years growing out but it just wasn’t practical anymore. So I chopped it off and you know what? I love it! I feel like a sexy mama now. I picked a hairstyle that looks “done” straight out of the shower and air dryed. That’s an important balance right there. I can look good without spending time on it. Also when I feel sexy, I can be sexy with the hubby. (Of course – the occasional long shower would be nice too!)

We aren’t going to have the gourmet, home cooked meals every night anymore.  We will still eat though. I made homemade chicken soup on Monday – so we had a Stouffer’s Ravioli meal on Tuesday with a homemade salad. It’s also okay to let the hubby cook and create his usually successful kitchen concoctions – even if he insists on adding Worcestershire sauce or Vanilla Extract to everything. (I’ve tried explaining a few times that Vanilla extract is for baking. No dice.)

It may take us a week to watch a two hour movie but that just means we get a few extra moments snuggled on the couch together that we would miss out on otherwise. Once again - not perfect, but it works for us.

I don’t think I’m ever going to be perfect. I won’t ever have enough time for everything and everyone. I work 40 hours a week and commute another hour each day. My son needs to be in bed by 7/730 each night or he will have a complete and total meltdown. I have to pick and choose what my priorities are. I am going to make mistakes along the way.

As long as I keep my balance though, I think we’re all going to be just fine.